When my broker tells me we didn't get the apartment

Livin' in Sin

Sometime this month, Craig and I are moving in to a new apartment.. yes, together. (with P.Nelly of course) Right at this very moment, we are waiting to hear about an apartment we have put an application in for, with nervous anticipation.

But, it is also very exciting - here, let me show you:

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN MY

RENT CHECK CLEARS MY BANK ACCOUNT

KNOWING MY RENT NEXT MONTH

WILL BE HALF OF WHAT IT WAS

LAST 4 DIGIT RENT CHECK GOIN' OUT TODAY, Y'ALL!

LET'S DANCE!

Colon Cancer Challenge 15K

Two days before the Colon Cancer Challenge was to take place, I found myself wishing I had selected the 4-mile option instead of the hefty 15K (9.6 miles). Yes, I had run 9 miles two weeks earlier, but I just didn’t feel really ready to tackle the 15K in a race setting. Still, I suited up that Sunday morning and headed out to Central Park.

The option to move to the 4 mile race was still there, and, as I saw, many people had taken that option. I was one of 6 people in my corral! That was scary, to say the least, but it was nice to get closer to the starting line by moving up a few corrals.

The race consisted of nearly two laps around the lower part of the park. Heading up the east side, instead of continuing up into Harlem territory (where the infamous, torturous “Harlem Hill” looms) we cut across the 102^nd street transverse, down the west side, back around the bottom, repeated the top, before shooting in the 72^nd street transverse to the finish.

I won’t lie, this race was extremely hard for me. Central Park is extremely hilly and even though I have done all of my training there, those hill still get me. 

I didn't have a good start. Could have been nerves, or the fact that the race began at 10:30am (instead of the usual 7:00-8:00 start times) giving me ample time to eat a decent breakfast. I don't run well when there is food in my stomach. This one was not planned well. 

Being in the back, I didn't really have to worry about maneuvering around people, and I didn't have to worry about people needing to go around me, so I was able to focus on keeping my posture upright and breathing deeply through the stomach cramps. The cramping seems to come about when I stop paying attention to what I'm doing (trying the "just run!" philosophy) and I stop breathing correctly. In fact, I actually hold my breath while exercising if I'm not paying attention!  Who does that? Really! Well, apparently, I do that. So I consciously breathe in, breathe out... breathe in, breathe out... repeat. 

It's a strange thing; when you actually have to think about breathing, since it is something that is supposed to come naturally, but I'm getting used to it. Hopefully once it becomes second nature, I can actually "just run" like everyone tells me to.

I had a lot of cramping in the beginning. I think I walked the most during those first three miles! I was getting really discouraged about how poorly I had started, so I took some water, stepped off the road, stretched out my legs a bit and recomposed.

Getting back on the road 10-15 seconds later, I felt better. I decided that no matter the outcome, I was going to finish this race. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm doing this. When it's cold outside, when the wind is blowing, when it's 7:00 in the morning, when everything in my body is telling me it's not worth it.. I wonder. And honestly, I couldn't answer that question during that race. So I 'gave up'. I don't mean that I quit the race, I don't think I would allow myself to do that, but I gave up on trying to do anything than run. I gave up on complaining about how slow I was going, I gave up beating myself up for how many people passed me. I gave up on caring about anything other than keeping my feet moving and air moving through my lungs.

So I started looking around me. I watched dogs play in the park, said hello to a man pushing a jogging stroller, took note of how the cherry blossoms were blooming, and I just kept running.

Around mile 3, I heard a commotion behind me: "Lead runner, coming through! Move aside! Lead runner coming through!" The leader had reached mile 8 in just over 40 minutes. I was on mile 3. Unbelievable.

When I started getting tired, I had to push myself mentally. I took water at every station, making sure I at least stayed hydrated throughout the race. My paced breathing turned into deep breaths in and chanting "don't stop. don't stop. don't stop." while breathing out. I kept moving. 

After the fatigue set in, I took a Gu, busted through "the wall", and kept moving. But, shortly after, comes the pain. Every nerve in my body came alive and I started to feel those individual pains. The bottoms of my feet are suddenly on fire with every step. That sock is rubbing a bit on the left side... and I'm pretty sure there is a rock in my shoe...

After the first loop around the park, I tried to really kick it in to gear. I found a girl that had basically kept my pace and I stuck with her. She'd run ahead, walk a bit, I'd run up, pass her, then I'd stop and walk a bit, then she'd run past me again. 

By mile 7 or 8, I was pretty much done with running altogether and just wanted to quit. My body hurt, bad. I was tired. My stomach was cramping almost continuously and the only thing that kept me moving was the realization that the faster I move, the faster I can stop running. 

The photo to the left was actually taken just before turning onto the transverse just after mile 9. I can't believe I actually mustered a smile at that point! I was still racing "the girl" (photo below) and I think I had run past her and set a pretty wide gap between us.

It wasn't until I had the finish line in sight that she roared past me, sprinting toward the finish. So, I picked it up, I ran as hard as I could, as fast as I could across that line. After I realized that the girl was going to "beat me" I also realized that the finish line was just ahead and I just focused on getting across it.

Craig was on the other side, cheering me on (he had finished well ahead of me) and I was just happy to see that I had achieved my original goal: Finish in under 2 hours.

I came across the finish line at 1:52:43, which gave me a 12:08 pace. Sure, my ultimate goal has always been to get under that 12 minute mile pace, but since I'm still heavily reliant on taking walking breaks due to the cramping, I'm happy that I seemed to walk less than usual during that race.

Crossing the finish line, Craig ran up to me and said "oh God, are you okay??" Apparently, my face was yellow. Like jaundice yellow instead of flushed red like it should be. I mentioned that I was tired, and in some pain, but otherwise okay and hoped it would go down shortly.

I took the Gatorade and bagel and walked for a bit with Craig. It actually took a few hours and a shower to get the yellow color out of my face.  Any one have any ideas what could have caused the yellowing of my face? I don't think it was a "not in sunlight" thing because Craig noticed it immediately and several volunteers at the finish line stopped me to ask if I was okay. I checked it out in a mirror on the way home and it was definitely yellow. So weird.

Edited to add: There WAS a rock in my shoe the whole time and it settled right underneath my big toe on my left foot. I really thought there was going to be a giant, bloody hole in my foot when I took my sock off. But, no, no injury, just a bit of pain!

Anyway, some of you may remember that I dedicated this run to my Grandmother, a colon cancer survivor, and that still holds true.

This race was hard. Really hard. But I think going through Chemotherapy is probably a lot harder than running 9.3 miles - so I am happy to do that in honor of her struggle.

After rolling out with the foam roller (I'll post about that later), icing my knees, and a long, hot shower (where I spent most of it laying in the tub), we ordered some enchiladas and rested for the remainder of the day.

I counted the 15K as one of my long training runs in preparation for the half marathon. 9.3 miles on the books. 2 weeks later, I would run 13.1

Run and Done!

I have 3 (count 'em.. 3!) races to update, but while those posts are being worked on, I wanted to pop in and say I have completed the Half Marathon! I may be exhaused and in more pain than I can ever remember being in, but the feeling of completing something so difficult is AMAZING!

More soon, dears!

9 Miles

This morning, I ran* 9 miles. The farthest I have ever run at one time. Also, it was the first time that I realized that I am actually getting better at this.  *I walked a little

Last Monday, I attempted a double loop of the inner circle of the park - appx. 8 miles - and nearly died. I experienced what most runners refer to as "hitting the wall". On the west side of the park (opposite of where I need to be to get home quickly), I hit the wall around the 6 mile point. I was exhausted. My legs ached. My feet hurt. It was getting dark and I knew I needed to just get home. **Though it is completely safe to run in Central Park in the evenings (plenty of people out, police presence, etc.) after a certain point, most runners have finished their run and the park starts to get a bit scary** The pain and exhaustion combined with the panic of feeling alone in the park made my chest feel tight. How would I run away from harm if my legs couldn't even move from my own will?  I was anxiety ridden and put everything into keeping my legs moving in small bursts of running to get out of the park as fast as I could.

Hitting the wall hurts. Hitting the wall sucks.

But, there is a way through the wall - along with properly fueling your body before a long run (something of which I did not do on Monday), energy gels (like Gu) can help break through the pain and exhaustion of reaching that point.

Today, I ran prepared. I properly fueled my body the night before (knowing I had planned a long run this morning), filled both bottles in the run belt with electrolyte-filled Gatorade, and packed a berry-flavored Gu within the pocket of the Amphipod.

**The running belt belongs to Craig and he kindly lets me borrow it when I need the hydration during long runs. He has been resting and recuperating from running the NYC Half Marathon last weekend.**


After a full loop of the park (appx. 6 miles), I decided it was time to test out the Gu. The horror stories I heard about this stuff made me apprehensive, but I found it to be not so terrible. Sure, the consistency is unusually thick, but the flavoring wasn't bad. The tri-berry flavor tasted sort of like how the interior of a pre-packaged jelly doughnut would taste. You know, that fake kind of filling that is a little bit too thick for the outside of it?  But, it served its purpose. I gives you that boost that allows you to feel like you can keep going, at least for a little while. Even if it's raining outside. Miracle product, I swear.

So, I finished the 9.2 miles in approximately 1 hour and 50 minutes. And, for the first time since starting this, I feel like I might actually be prepared to complete the More/Fitness Magazine Half Marathon in 3 weeks.

I have noticed that I am needing to walk less and less each time I go out there.  I am feeling like my legs are getting stronger, and my breathing is getting better. There are still times when I need to stop and walk through the cramps that pop up, but those seem to be subsiding faster as well.

Two months ago, I was feeling continuously defeated. I felt like there was no way I could get any better and that I would be plagued with the inability to run for the rest of my life. But, the more I try, the more I get out there and do it, the easier it becomes. Is running easy to me? Ha, not by a long shot. Yet, it's easier than it was. And that is what matters, right?

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, I am scheduled to run the longest run I have ever attempted. Also, I will be attempting to take energy gels for the first time.

I have seen so many runners choking down these things while running in the park. It should be interesting to see how well I do with them.

The most liberating thing I've done in a LONG time

Let the countdown to freedom begin!!!

On listening to your body...

"Listen to your body" is something that anyone who has ever done anything fitness related has heard over and over again. "Your body knows what its doing" "Your body knows what it needs" "Your body is telling you what to do" "Listen to it."

Yeah, well no offense to genetics (sorry, Mom and Dad!) but my body is a whiny little bitch. There. I said it!

Never being one prone to physical fitness, this new "fit" lifestyle is completely new to me. Sure, I danced as a child (up until college), I swam and dove competitively, and even played some team sports as a wee girl (didn't last long); but I was never the "give it my all" type of athlete. I was in it to participate. In it for the friends, in it for the "fun".

The first thing I ever found to be 'hard' (fitness related) was spinning. Riding a bike isn't hard, right? Well, I coughed and hacked my way through my first class and clutched my stomach trying to force the nausea away while shuffling my way home. My legs burned, my heart was pounding, so I spent most of the class sitting on the bike just pedaling along.

When I began running, everything hurt. My knees, my thighs, my butt actually moved up and down as I trotted down the road, leaving the muscle actually sore from impact. (Hint: compression pants are your friend!) My lungs burned, my heart raced, and my body was screaming "STOP! STOP! STOP RIGHT NOW!" So, I stopped. I always stopped.

Granted, there are times where walking is necessary, and I have stopped beating myself up over the absolute need to slow it down during a run; but, listening to my body often leads to me accepting less than what I can actually do.

Sure, my body feels like it knows what it needs.

"Rest today. Feel the hurt in your legs? It's because you did too much yesterday. Know what would be better? Order pasta in and just rest."

Riiiiigght.

My body thought it knew what it needed 50 pounds ago. Now, I can power through a 45 minute spin class pushing myself harder each step of the way. I can push myself hard to get a tough workout even if the instructor, for lack of a better word, sucks. And running will eventually be the same. Body screaming "Stop!" or not, I'll show that little voice just how much more can be done.

Al Gordon Classic - 4 Miles - Prospect Park, Brooklyn

The day after my first race, I registered for a second. There was another 4 mile race two weeks after the first and I jumped at the opportunity to prove to myself that I could do better if given the opportunity. Spending the week with a terrible head cold didn't prove to be the best for training purposes, so when the actual race came along, I knew that no matter what, I just needed to do it. I could walk the entire thing and get credit for the 2013 Marathon - even if I was sneezing and coughing the entire way.

Craig and I live nonsensically close to Central Park, so getting back and forth from a race there is no problem. But, this race was in Prospect Park in Brooklyn. It ended up taking us three different trains to get to the park (by 8:00am!) and over an hour and a half in travel time. After finally getting onto a train that would get us within walking distance of the park, I was able to relax a little bit. (Seeing other people with tags on their shoes was a relief!) My nose was running, but I was feeling pretty good for being sick all week. Once we got off the train, we walked a block or two over to the park and what is the first thing to greet us? The Mile 1 marker. The start of the race was an entire mile into the park! So, we were speed-walking/running just to get to the starting line, dropped the bag off quickly and slipped in with the crowd to start the race.  The corrals were a mess and there were people standing all over the place since so many of us showed up with barely time to spare.

*VA not pictured. VA in the "very far back group.

The race was extremely congested in the beginning, and because corrals were so mixed, there were slower runners in front of people who were faster, and even people that were walking at the very beginning. I was feeling pretty good about myself, running past a lot of people at the start (it's not very often that I pass people!)

The first mile was a long hill, gradual, but still steep, and I didn't have much of a problem with it, despite my history suffering through hills. I knew since I had walked down the hill getting to the race that the 1 mile mark was just ahead and when I passed the clock, I noticed that I had run my first mile in just over 11 minutes. Woo hoo! Right after the first mile, exhaustion set in. Some coughing, nose running, side stitches, you name it! I slowed to a walk and vowed to only walk 100 steps. Counting them off, 97, 98, 99, 100 - and I set off running again. I popped a cough drop in my mouth and the menthol actually helped open up my airways a bit.

Deep down, I knew I wasn't having a good run. I had pains in my legs, a cramp in my hip and in my toes. The stitch in my side and the pain in my shoulder would only subside for a few seconds at a time. So I started doing the "walk 100 steps" every time the pain got bad. For some reason, being able to count out the steps kept me going for a while. At the 3 mile point, I stepped off the road and tried to stretch out my hip flexor because it was really starting to cramp up badly. That worked for the next 10 minutes or so, and pushed me toward the finish line. In my heart, I knew I had done so poorly that I had literally given up on making any sort of "time" and just wanted to get across the finish line. Going up the final hill was a series of "run a bit, give up, walk further. Push self into running again, give up, walk further." At one point, a woman said "you and I keep run/walking past each other - do you want to run together to the end?" I agreed and the two of us pushed past the finish line. I lost her in the crowd just after I was able to breathe out a "thank you". Honestly, without that woman, I would not have run to the finish line. I'm absolutely sure of it.

Craig was there, with outstretched arms and greeted me over the rail at the finish. With tears in my eyes, I told him I was in pain and he walked with me to grab a bagel and led me over to stretch in the grass. After resting a minute, we walked out of the park together, straight back up that first hill, while we talked about our run. Craig did extremely well (under 9 minute miles!!) I was disappointed in myself but not in a "I want to quit" sort of way, which, I suppose is a good thing.

Back at home, I threw my shoes off, propped my legs up and went in search of the race results. Imagine my shock when this appeared:

A full 21 seconds off my pace? Are you kidding me??? I seriously thought that I would have been posting 13+ minute miles. Imagine what my times would be if I actually ran decently the entire time!

There is still A LOT of work to do. In fact, my next scheduled race is the New York Colon Cancer Challenge on April 1st, which I will be running in honor of my grandmother, a colon cancer survivor. It's a 15K (9.32 miles) race and right now, I'm shakin' in my runnin' shoes, because hot damn, that's a long way to run!

*Photo courtesy of New York Road Runners

Milly for Sperry???

GET IN MY CLOSET

Seriously. I want. I need. Ahhhhhh!!!!

To see the entire Milly for Sperry line, check out Piperlime