Saturday, January 30, 2010


This is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. Melissa and Brent, originally from Raleigh, moved out to San Francisco and have started a family. Melissa blogs on Dear Baby, where she has documented her life as a new mom.

One of the posts, she shares a lullaby her husband wrote for their new child. It's just beautiful.

Check out Melissa's Dear Baby blog here

"Silver in my head and gold in my heart."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Dating Virginia: The Three-Day Rule

Everyone knows that there are "rules" in the dating world. Who determined these rules, I haven't the slightest. But, now that I am very deep in the dating realm, I'm realizing that not only are these rules apparent, but they are followed.

One rule I have never quite understood is the "Three-Day Rule". This rule, of course, implies that you should wait three days to contact someone you went out on a date with. Urban Dictionary describes it as: "A rule used by douchebag guys who think that waiting three days after a date to call means that the girl will want them more, when really it just pisses them off"

(i.e.) I thought he was blowing me off, but he totally three day ruled me. Classic.

Thank you, Urban Dictionary! It is a douchebaggy thing to do. I understand the idea: the guy wants to seem busy and incredibly popular, but it really gives us the opposite impression. You're over there thinking, "Heh, she totally thinks I'm cool and have so much to do. I bet she can't wait to see me again!" and I'm thinking, "This is ridiculous, how many people is he dating?" or "I bet his wife had a baby this weekend."

I went out with "Cab Guy" again on Friday night. Once again, I had a good time. Conversation was great and we were really getting along. Even the woman at the bar catching on fire didn't derail our budding chemistry. (Seriously, I can't make this shit up.)

But, there was one issue. I had two glasses of wine and a beer at the bar - not an unusual amount of alcohol for me - but I left so drunk. In fact, I spent the remainder of the night bulimia-ing into a trashcan next to my bed. It's still a mystery to me, how I could get so sick on so little alcohol, but ah, I digress.

Back to the topic at hand. It's been three days. I can normally tell the difference between "chemistry" and "stupid crush" and I'm most certain that this one was "chemistry". So, why hasn't he called? In my mind, if you mesh well with someone, there's no reason why you should force yourself to wait to talk to them. If you want to talk, you talk! If you want to hang out again, you can throw out a "Hey, are you free Sunday afternoon?" after a Friday night date and it's alright! Am I alone in this? Am I just being a rebellious dater?

Since today is "Day 3" I guess I'll wait and see if I hear from him. I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: He didn't call. :(

Saturday, January 16, 2010


Yes, it's mid-January and while it's still very cold, the 40 degree weather feels like a heat wave! And, when Bergdorf Goodman sends me emails about resort collections and summer fashions, I can't help but wish for spring.

With upcoming fashions like this, who wouldn't be excited for warmer weather??

Hopefully my spring wardrobe will be full of new pieces like these:

Bright dresses!

Gorgeous neutrals can be so versatile

And, shoes - I'm in love with wedges, neutrals, and bright bright sandals. REALLY wanting spring now!!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Dating Virginia: I'm Easy?

Okay, so I don't really think I'm "easy". But, I've taken a lot of time in the past week trying to determine exactly how men see me. I've never considered myself to be "sexy". Sure, men have told me that I am, but normally, that's after I've charmed them with my personality. Still, I've never been the sexy one. So, when dates approach me just for the desire of sex, I don't really know how to handle it. This is all coming out of nowhere, right? Let me explain - -

2 dates last week - "The Law" is a 35 year old Tom Hanks look-alike. I'll set the picture for you: he started messaging me online, we exchanged numbers, talked on the phone a few times, and agreed to meet for tea one night. Cafe Lalo in the Upper West Side. Cafe Lalo just happens to be the place where You've Got Mail was filmed. I walked in (5 minutes fashionably late) saw him sitting at the back, he waved me over, greeted me at the table and we had tea.

Nice set-up, huh? He obviously knows and recognizes the Tom Hanks resemblance. Bringing me to Cafe Lalo to meet for the first time after communicating online. He's setting up a story! "I fell in love with my 'Tom Hanks' just like Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'!"

He's an intellectual (owns a law firm) and his personality is one to match. He wasn't completely dull, but I wasn't falling over with laughter either. The date ended with a kiss on the cheek.

The next date that week was with a guy that I can't seem to come up with a nickname for. We met for drinks and really had a connection. We talked a lot, laughed, all in all, it was a really great first date. There was only one problem. Once we determined that we lived in the same neighborhood, we decided to share a cab uptown. During the cab ride, 'ol boy started gettin' fresh with me. Sure, I don't mind a kiss on the first date (if the date is going well), but I was a little shocked at his desire for a full-on makeout sesh in the cab.

For me, I can overlook a slight line overstepping in favor of a connection. To be honest, it was the best date I have been on in a long time. I'm seeing him again tomorrow. Just for naming sake, we've been calling him "Cab Guy".

This week, I met "The Law" again. After the first date jitters wears off, you can really get to know someone on a second date. It normally lasts a lot longer and it sometimes includes dinner. (The first dinner date is imperative to determine compatibility. You're forced to open yourself up to not being as proper as you could be with just tea. Seeing how people interact with their own food - and what type of food they choose eat - really can let you know what type of person you are with) Conversation was fine and we decided to get dessert after. Later, we were playing Scrabble (I was losing horribly) and then suddenly I was being pushed back on a couch. I stiff-armed him and told him that it was too far for me, but the damage had been done.

Men want sex. I get it. But I didn't realize that I give off a vibe of being easy. I won't be seeing "The Law" again.

We'll see how things go with "Cab Guy" tomorrow. But, I do know that I'm going to try and slow things down a bit. I felt a real connection with him and going too fast in the beginning will ruin everything.

How hard can it be to demand that a guy respect me? And, why can't I seem to give off that vibe?

Questions, questions, so many questions. And way too much testosterone.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tick Tock

I'm terrified.

Sure, on the outside, I appear to have it all together, but inside, I'm crumbling. I'm in my second week back in New York and I still don't have a job. Not even something temporary. It's getting dire, really. I can't afford to stay here much longer.

I don't want to leave... I want to be here. For the first time, I feel like I'm starting to come into my own here, I'm feeling a comfort in the city, and each passing day, it's slipping further away.

My mind is spinning and my heart is aching - I don't know what else to do.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Back in NYC

I'm back in New York. After over two weeks of "vacation" in North Carolina and Florida, I'm back in my "home" (at least, the home I have tried to create for myself in the city)

I spent every ounce of those two weeks surrounded. Family, friends, pets. By the time the second week rolled around, I was begging for time alone; sneaking off to be with my thoughts as often as I could. Ironic, isn't it? How I wish so often to be back in North Carolina immersed in an atmosphere of friendly banter, games, and time with the people I love most; and when I get the opportunity, I crave solitude. I guess I will eventually have to find a happy medium, but I have noticed that as I have grown, I have needed more time alone.

I'm sitting here tonight, curtains open, lounging in my chair with only the lights of New York and the computer screen glaring back at me. I'm hoping to see just a little bit of snow fall before I go to sleep. The sky is a rosy pink, a perfect preamble to the inevitable snowfall. From here, I can see snippets of other's lives in the city. Windows flicker with lights of a television, curtains are drawn for a day finished, office lights burn while sleepy employees continue to work. It's like each tiny window has a story. That's one of the things that makes New York City so exceptional. 9 million of us are squished into 30 square miles of space. We're literally "right on top of each other". Yet, each of us is able to make our own life. To be different in our own ways. Refreshing, isn't it?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what my 2010 resolutions should be. Of course, I think it is important to keep my 2009 resolutions, because they are vital in maintaining a healthy life mentally and emotionally. But so far, I have been unable to come up with anything that I really want to work on. Of course, I need a job. (ANY job at this point) But, resoluting to have gainful employment seems silly. Shouldn't I always strive for that? Still, I'm going to run out of money before too long - employment is on the top of my list right now.

So, I have no resolutions at the moment. If I come up with something in the coming days, I'll keep you posted. But, for now, I think it's okay to continue the path I have set for myself and focus not on changing so much, but staying the same. Maybe I'm exactly where I am meant to be.