Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Yes, I held up the deal I made with myself to not meet any new “suitors” until after Thanksgiving. And, because of that, I nailed myself two job interviews and a new post-Thanksgiving date. But, I am sad to report, that I’m not that optimistic about any of it. I’ll get into the interview parts in a separate post that isn’t about dating.
I haven’t determined a nickname for this gentleman yet, so I’ll call him “A”.
A and I started talking (he found me online, of course) a few weeks ago. It was a good start to communicating, because he wrote thoughtfully and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. (Big plus for him) Last Thursday, he took the extra step and asked if he could take me out to dinner. We exchanged numbers, made a plan to meet Monday evening. I will say, I was thinking that it wasn’t going to happen because there was no follow-up call to confirm the date and time. But, when I got a text from him saying, “I’m here”, I made a mad dash to get down there. At least I was already dressed!
If I am being honest, I was actually hoping he would forget or would stand me up so that I wouldn’t have to go out. I have been feeling pretty crappy since Saturday afternoon and have hardly eaten any food since. I haven’t a clue what’s wrong with me, but I feel nauseous all the time and all food sits like a rock in my stomach. (Before you jump to conclusions, no, I am not pregnant.)
But, I put on a normal face and went to dinner with A. I was so miserable throughout the entire dinner of pre-dinner guacamole, a small appetizer, and then Mexican doughnuts. It took every ounce of class I could muster to choke down each bite of food and not throw it up all over the table.
But, the conversation was good, he was nice, and I was comfortable (aside from the stomach issues). That said, I didn’t really feel much else. I know people have been constantly saying that when you finally meet someone that you’re supposed to be with, you’ll know it. But, it’s been a long time since I got that flutter in my stomach, that giggle you have to keep inside while you tell the story of your date… I guess I’m just waiting to get back from a date and finally have something to say other than “ah, it was okay. He was nice.”
Until then, I’ll keep trying!
Friday, November 20, 2009
The series follows Will Schuster, a Spanish teacher at an Ohio high school that decides to bring back the Glee club. Of course, like typical high school life, the musically talented kids are the geeks and losers of the school. Mr. Schu is trying to change that. Recruiting the star football player and members of the award-winning cheerleading squad, these students, while they battle high school stereotypes, sing their tiny hearts out each episode. Will is married (she'll be listed below), but has obvious love for the HS guidance counselor, Emma. Will can sing and dance amazingly, even though he's a white guy. And, when he opens that mouth and belts out a song, it makes my couch-sittin' heart melt. A guy who loves kids, education, and can sing? Sign me up, please!
Quinn Fabray. The bitchy, once Head Cheerio, now kicked off the squad because of her pregnancy. She had sex with Finn's best friend, but maintains that Finn is the father. President of the Celibacy Club (do high schools really have Celibacy clubs?!) her Glen Beck-lovin’ family didn’t take too kindly with the knowledge that daddy’s little girl is daddy’s little got-a-girl-in-the-oven. In fact, daddy kicked ol’girl out of the house last episode and she’ll now be living with Finn and his mom.
This is getting long, so I’ll fly through the rest of them.
Mercedes, the token black girl is the Jennifer Hudson of the group. That girl has got a set of pipes for sure!
Artie, wheelchair kid, also has an unbelievable voice, it’s almost shocking the sound that comes out when he opens his mouth.
Tina, the punk-asian, with a fake stutter and blue streaks in her hair. (They’re really playing up the “loser” stereotypes here.)
Kurt. Ah, Kurt, I love him. He’s the gay kid that every show choir needs. In this show, we’re really seeing Kurt go through a transition where he recognizes that he is gay and is starting to openly display it and hopes that he wont be completely shunned for it. Kurt’s a definite male soprano and that high-pitched voice is to die for. Kurt also has impeccable fashion – apparently not appreciated in the small Ohio town. I feel ya, Kurt, I feel ya.
Lastly, there’s Puck. The bad-ass, Mohawk sportin’ dude that really knocked up the Queen of the Chastity Ball. He’s a bit resentful for Finn, who gets all of the sympathy for being the baby-daddy. I really began liking Puck once he played the guitar and belted out a lovely version of Sweet Caroline.
Now that we’ve blown through the main characters, I’ll leave you with what really makes this show fantastic. The music:
So, stop reading, go straight over to Hulu.com and watch all of the Glee episodes, then tune into Fox next Wednesday to catch the next episode. It's a laugh out loud funny show, but keep in mind that while some of the plot lines are surreal and it's not likely that people belt out in song while walking down the hall, it's supposed to be a fun time - a break from life for about an hour. And please, don't act like you haven't wanted to belt out a version of "Lean on Me" before!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Pop,I miss you. I miss you every single day. And I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you what I was feeling when we were together last. But, I hope throughout the years, I told you enough that I love you. I hope that you always knew how much I respected you, how much I valued your opinion and how much I really needed and relied on your wisdom. I hope you know that I wasn't lying when I told you that I enjoyed spending hours at your house even if it was just sitting and watching tv with you.And, I'm sorry - I'm sorry for all the times I didn't call, for the times I said I'd stop by and I never made it. I'm sorry for not being there with you in this past year, especially toward the end. For that, I'm eternally sorry.I need you now. I need your advice, I need your encouragement. I feel so lost and I need you to tell me what to do.. or I at least need you to tell me that it's okay for me to not know what to do. The world, my world, feels empty without you here.I can't hear you like I can hear others I've lost. I constantly hear my Dinnie's voice in my head every time I go outside with wet hair. "Dry your hair," she'd say. "You'll catch your death-a-cold going out with your hair soakin' wet." But, I can't hear you. Why can't I hear you?I want to be like you. To be wise and successful and hard-working. I want to value fairness as you always had. I want to have your amazing ability to stand up for what is good and right and to expect to be treated with respect. You make me want to be the best. You cared for people; you genuinely cared. And not even people you knew, you cared and respected everyone you ever came across. You thought the same of the man who empties the trash as you did the CEO of that same company. To you, hard working people were all the same. No matter what job they had.I'm angry. I hate that you're gone. I hate that you had to be taken away from me, from us. And I hate me for feeling sorry for myself. I'm selfish, I know, but I guess I just don't understand. Why? Why couldn't God, the fates, the pull of the universe, or whatever determines what happens just leave us alone for a while? Why you? Why now?I know your body had failed you. I can't imagine the insurmountable amount of pain you must have been in. You were strong, unbelievably strong. And I, weak.. embarrassingly weak. Even now, I am feeling stupid and powerless because I'm having such a hard time letting you go. Everyone keeps telling me that you're not really gone, that you're always with me. But I can't feel you, I feel nothing, I'm alone.I learned so much from you.I thank you for being such an amazing individual. You were wonderful. You taught us all how to love, how to keep your heart open but when to know to close it. You taught us see the difference and know when to walk away and when to keep trying. You're an inspiration. And, if you're out there, in spirit or heart, maybe you can hear my thoughts or are looking down on me. If you are, please reach out to me, because I need you now. I need to feel you, I need to have you in my life. I'm trying to make my life right again and I need you to somehow be in that life again. I know I can't completely let you go.I know this is probably mostly incoherent and incongruent and just a messy, messy set of words, but it feels nice to finally "pour my heart out" (if you'll allow the bad expression).I love you, I miss you, we all do. I hope you knew how amazing you were.Always,V
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
This past weekend was probably my busiest when it comes to “dating” – I crammed 3 dates into 2 days. Yes, readers, I double-dipped in the dating pool and met two different guys in the same day. And, of course, it’s all very story-worthy. Let’s start with date number 1:
****Note: all men have been given proper nicknames. Trying to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent) here****
"Soba noodles" and I decided to meet on Friday night and take a walk around town. It was a nice night, I agreed to meet him in a public place and I got to choose the “walking path” so that I felt comfortable walking with him at night (i.e. no dark alleys, no creepy cross-through streets, and no scary night-time parks) I should have known it would be a dating disaster when I saw him show up in a t-shirt, rolled up jeans, and flip-flops. He looked like he was heading to go find some crawdads in a creek. I wish I could say that was the worst of how he arrived! He was carrying a plastic container (one that your soup from a Chinese restaurant would come in - hence the nickname "Soba noodles") that was full of whiskey! Yes, he was drunk, sweating, stumbling all over the place, and drinking out of a plastic bowl with a top. He said he was nervous (hence the alcohol) and I felt a little sorry for the guy – so I decided to walk with him a bit. (I am entirely too nice.. I should have run away) We ended up sitting on a bench near the river – to which he said it was romantic and asked if he could kiss me. I said “um.. alright” since I was planning to leave anyway. (this is where it gets weird) He reached behind me with his hand, and grabbed my hair, took his other hand and cupped the side of my face – he then forced my chin up with his thumb and went straight for my neck. Yes, he vampired me. He connected so quickly, I had no idea what was happening --- he essentially hoover-vac’ed me. It was very fast, but it hurt really bad – no, he didn’t bite me, but it was like he was trying to suck the skin off my neck – I yelled, and pushed him off, told him that I was NOT interested in that and that I was leaving. He apologized, but I was done – I walked very quickly away at that point. AWKWARD! I have no idea what alternate universe he has lived in that would make that okay (or romantic!) but zOmg! Wtf!?
I went home, still trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, I took a shower, because I had the heebie-jeebies and when I got out of the shower, I noticed a mark on my neck. Yes, he sucked hard enough for 1.5 seconds to give me a damn hickey! Imagine how awkward it was trying to hide a hickey I got the night before on my coffee date scheduled the next day!
Date number 2: "Aerie" and I decided to meet for coffee at 1:30. As I got off the subway uptown at 1:25, I had a voicemail from him – asking if I wanted to meet “for lunch or something” that afternoon. Um.. what? I thought we had already made a plan! I called back, said that was fine, and that I could be uptown in about 15-20 minutes (Hello! I totally had other plans, but I’d be willing to drop them to meet him! Duh!) ;-)
So, I’m standing outside the café waiting for him, hair in a side pony to hide the vamp-bite on my neck (of course) and off the bus comes "Aerie". Let me paint this picture for you. He had a cute face, glasses, (I thought, “okay, good!”) then I begin the downward glance. Faded beige button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up, giant backpack, khaki cargo shorts, mountain boots with pushed down socks (almost like leg-warmer style) He looked like he had just repelled down a mountain! (Or a building) Though I could tell in the first 5 minutes that I was not really into him, I decided to stick it out and give the guy a chance. I still haven’t figured out how to just say “I’m not interested”. We sat, talked about music, which was nice (I had plenty of things to deliver to the conversation because of my mother, thanks mom!) but after a while, I was just tired of the whole thing – he talked in very poetic language – like he would say something like “One doesn’t want to be overbearing” ::hand woff:: - - so I decided to just play along. “Oh yes, I’ve traveled all over the world soul-searching!” “I just loved Australia – I spent an entire week with a shaman learning how to play the didgeridoo!” He ate it right up – he probably thinks I’m fantastic. ::sigh::
Okay, so date number 3, later that night. I was meeting "Seaman" again (I had hung out with him last weekend). Let’s see - - how to describe my “relationship” with "Seaman"…. We put up with each other in a traditional “about town-date scenario” so that we can eventually hook up. Yes, I think I have found my “summer fling”… He’s an ex-Navy guy, which I originally decided to not even go there because of the obvious C-reference, but he caught me with nothing to do on a Saturday night. The alternative was watching the Oxygen network, eating Oreos, and going to bed alone – so, I decided to meet him for drinks. Since I had already polished off half a bottle of wine before I met him, after a few beers, we were making out in dark corners in no time.
He’s cute, but he’s not someone I would really ‘date’… with the tattoos and pot smoking (not allowed near me) but we have amazing 'sexual chemistry'. Ah, whatever, I'm enjoying this for now.
I had another date last night. “Mealplan” – so named because the first 2-3 days we “talked” he kept asking me what I had to eat that day, in a “what was for lunch?” “what did you make for dinner?” kind of way… Annndddd.... I officially have my first crush! I've been on so many dates with so many different people and I normally walk away from them either completely freaked out (as you've read above) or with a general apathetic feeling. Most of the dates are "alright" but there's never been a real spark. Now, I finally got that feeling - a small flutter in my stomach when I get a message from him. Ahh! I'm feeling girly again!
But, it's also terrifying. I mean, I haven't done this in a LONG time. I don't want to get hurt again (especially over something meaningless) but I also don't want to close myself off from something that could be great. Internal struggle: commense!
Friday, July 24, 2009
First, let's go back to February, to my first real adult date. After interacting with the guy for a few days, agreeing to meet him for dates, after date number 2, he was suddenly in love with me! Crying (yes, crying) and saying that he wanted to "love [me] forever" GAHH!
Another case: there are a few guys that I have communicated with online that will randomly send me messages like this:
OnlineGuy2298: Why haven't you said hi to me lately?Really? When did this happen? When did guys become neurotic little babies who bug the hell out of you in a "I'm going to keep calling you until you realize how NORMAL I am!"???
OnlineGuy2298: What did I do?
OnlineGuy2298: Do you want to meet?
OnlineGuy2298: Hm, guess not.
Also, guys today seem to be more insecure about themselves than women are. They constantly want to know if you find them attractive or if you like their personality. Like the guy who tells me every day that he goes to the gym. ( I get it! You work out! I'm so proud!) Or the guy that asks, "why don't you want to hold my hand? You don't like me?" (Really??)
I'm certainly not the most confident person out there, and I definitely don't have the highest self-esteem. But, I know how to carefully hide it and make guys think that I've got it all together (at least, I think so - who knows, they might be able to see right through me..)
So, to all the men out there - please, stop whining!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Online dating is the same way. You wade through pages and pages of men from the comfort of your could-fit-another-person bed and pick and choose the ones that you think are cute, smart, or funny. Because the website I'm using likes to rub your ego, it allows you to see everyone that has viewed you. In the same vein, you are seen by all the men after you view their profiles. So here's my technique: I spend about an hour or so each day clicking on random profiles, reading through and making mental notes about each guy. I then wait for me to pop up under their "viewed me" section. If they like me, they message me. It's the perfect combination of stealthiness and laziness. And, it saves me from the self-esteem attack that happens when you send a witty message to an eligible bachelor and get no response (ouch). This way is much better, I love it.
So, it's probably too passive of a technique to really get the "man of my dreams" (though the man of my dreams changes way too much, so there's probably not someone out there that totally "fits") But, it has worked decently so far.
So, they send messages, I check them out again to determine if I'd like to chat, and we start a conversation. A lot of times, these small chatting sessions end after a few messages, but there are a few that have matured into a full-blown volley. Then comes the next step: the phone number.
Because my phone number had to be changed after many deranged phone conversations with a former acquaintance, I have been very careful about giving out my number. But, once I become comfortable enough with someone from chatting online, I normally give out my number (only if it's asked for. Come on, now, I'm a lady!)
So, here's the thing. We chat online, we're trying to do the preliminary "get-to-know-you" stage, then the number comes out and.... nothing. What the hell? I give you my number (because you said it would be easier to communicate that way) and then you don't call?? If the phone number is such an intimidating thing, why do men ask for it to begin with?
Though I have never read the book or seen the movie, I'm a firm believer in the "He's Just Not That Into You" principle. If the guy is into you, you'll know it. He'll try. And he'll be persistent. If not, he just isn't into you! It's simple. But still, it's hard to accept that quiet cell phone.
Oh, and if any of you are wondering about my last date. Well, silent-phone. It speaks louder than words.