Thursday, August 26, 2010

The Daily Lust

In 8 days, Craig and I will be heading down to North Carolina to have a quick vacation from the city. Today, I am lusting for that Friday afternoon.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The Daily Lust

Who wants to buy me these?!?!? They're only 60 bucks!

Bowtie Booties from Filthy Magic

I know, it's amazing that I even look at websites titled "Filthy Magic".

I am a tyrant.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Things I take for granted:

Hormonal Balance

Seriously, it doesn't even cross my mind until I am forced to battle hormonal imbalance.

I was on the worst birth control medication that existed. (Online research confirms this. Duh, if it's online, it's true.) Seriously, I know it's the worst because I got it for basically nothing. Since I was uninsured from July 2008 to May 2010, it was always a precarious situation when it came to getting medical help. In short, I always had to get my yearly gynecological exams from the local abortion clinic and receive whatever brand of BCPs they were promoting at the time. While I didn't have many problems with it in the beginning, the past 6 months have been absolute horror. In fact, I'm surprised I was not murdered in the past 2 months. That bad.

It wasn't just the cramps, the irritability, the breakouts, missing periods, and the weight gain.. the worst were my terrible terrible mood swings. 2 weeks ago, I had one of the worst breakdowns ever. I came home from work, after a hellish commute and found Craig sitting in my apartment.

"I'm hungry," I said.
"Me too, let's order something," he replied.
"Okay, what do you want?"
"I don't care, I'll eat anything. Pick what you want."

And I broke down, right there, because I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat and I was so hungry I could have eaten my own hand.

I pulled it together, ordered some food, and ate like I had never seen food before in my life.

After dinner, we laid in bed, watching tv and talking when I felt it swell up again. There wasn't even a trigger this time... just sobs.

Craig held me close, stroked my hair and laughed (obviously, at the absurdity of it all) and I choked through sobs "Don't [gasp] laugh at [gasp] me [sob] [sob] [sob]!!!"
"You're not the only one who appreciates you changing birth control pills," he said to me.
[sob] [sob] [sob] [sob]

I know I have been a nightmare to live with, but he takes it all in stride, I'm grateful for that.

So, I switched. One of the first things I did after getting insured was to make an appointment with a REAL gynecological practice and get some REAL medical attention. He put me on a different BCP and I was extactic! Finally, I would be back to normal, no terrible side effects! While I knew that there was always the possibility of having symptoms with any medication, I expected that this one (which is widely used) would be much lighter on the side effects. What I didn't expect, was the tyrant of symptoms I would experience when changing hormones.

12 hours after taking the new mixture of anti-baby pills, I was a mess. Craig had just left for vacation and to the outside, I was experiencing some major withdrawal. I couldn't stop crying! I took long showers, went swimming, and even tried to sleep, but the emotions kept swelling up out of nowhere! The next day, sitting at work wiping tears off my face, I kept having to convince everyone that I was fine. And the following day, I stepped off the curb into a rain puddle that soaked me up to the ankle. Right there, on a busy New York street, I broke down into a sobbing mess. Not little tears, but big, choking sobs that caused people to take their headphones out of their ears. I was making a scene - because my shoe was wet.

As my body continues to adjust to the new hormones, I am experiencing a plethora of swings. One moment, I am full of energy, bursting out of my skin with the need to RUN; the next, I'm so tired, I can't keep my eyes open. I actually fell asleep standing up, waiting for the bus. My stomach is gnawing at my throat, begging for food and then suddenly, I can't eat a single thing. Perfectly fine to boiling angry in a matter of seconds! Sooo annoying.

[to go ahead and stop any suspicions, no, I am not pregnant.]

As the week has gone on, things have slowly gotten better. I didn't cry when watching TV last night, which was a first in 5 days. And, I've been able to stay awake all day today! (Seriously, I've been nodding off at work, then feeling bad about it and crying again) Hopefully, my body is finally adjusting to the hormonal change and finding balance.

So, I take you for granted, hormonal balance. Because without it, I certainily would never have any friends.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Daily Lust

Lately, my "Daily Lusts" have been places. One would think that I need to get away...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Weekend in Review

I can't believe it's Monday again already!

This weekend was a mixture of highs and lows with a little productivity thrown in. After Craig's GMAT test on Friday afternoon and subsequent family bantering, we decided to stop wallowing and go out for some dinner and drinks. We had steak sandwiches, drank beers and bellinis, laughed, and sang along poorly with hits of the 80s. One day, I bet we'll miss the days where we would just go out for dinner in a bar/lounge and "karaoke" the place without a care in the world. Since we were both a little tipsy and happy, we tried to call up some friends to join us in butchering the art of karaoke (for real). We were ready for a night out on the town! So when our few friends let us know that they were out of town or had other plans, we went back to his apartment and fell asleep at a very elderly 11:00pm.

We awoke the next morning knowing that Craig would be leaving the city and spending the night in Long Island before his very early Sunday morning flight. We helped clean his apartment (It's so refreshing to see someone as adamant about coming back to a clean home as I am!) We went for a quick brunch a few blocks up at Wicker Park. It was at brunch that something quite funny unfolded.

A handsome couple, in their late 20s walked down the sidewalk, just past our outdoor dining table. The woman, tall, slender, in a beautiful, red, backless dress. The man, dressed casually in khaki shorts and a polo. I noticed them walking towards us and turned away before they passed and just as I turned, I watched Craig's eyes follow them, right over my head and down the block.
Me: "What 'cha lookin' at there? Hmm?"

Him: "What?"

Me: "Just now..."

Him: "Oh, he had a Shake Shack bag... I was wondering what was in it.
Now, I want a cheeseburger."

Ha! Nice to know he wasn't looking at the leggy brunette like I was! Sometimes, all a man wants in life is a good cheeseburger!

We returned to the apartment, said our 'goodbye's and 'have fun's, I hugged his neck and headed back up to my apartment.

Have you ever spent an entire morning cleaning just to go home and realize your place is a mess? That is exactly what happened to me. All week, my apartment had been treated with some serious neglect so I took on the battle of getting that cleaned up too. I spent the evening lounging, reading, and watching TV.

On Sunday, I desperately needed to do laundry (it was in a serious state of overflow) including washing my down comforter. I hate washing that thing. It's so awkward to carry (along with everything else) down to the laundromat and it takes up an entire washer and dryer - no multi-tasking with that one! But, it had been so long since it had passed a lint screen, I was getting tiny tiny feathers (the ones that get too small and regular washing should remove. oops!) on everything. In fact, when cleaning my extremely dusty side table, closer inspection showed that there was no dust, but thousands of tiny feathers spread out all over the wood. Not to mention that I kept waking up looking like I had gotten in a fight with a baby goose. And, if Craig had any sort of "shadow" (5'0clock or otherwise), he'd wake up with little white specks on his face!

So, laundry day it was. After making sure his plane didn't crash into the ocean, I ventured out to the streets of NY with one full suitcase and one full laundry hamper in tow. I wore lounge pants and an I (heart) NY tshirt that would have seriously embarrassed Craig. My New Yorker man would rather die than be mistaken for a tourist!

It was kind of refreshing, actually, to not have to care about impressing a single soul - to just go out and do what I needed to do. With a post 24-hour wash pony tail and no makeup.
After many hours, I finally got everything laundered, folded, and put back away in my apartment (seriously missing the boyfriend when I had to drag a 60 pound suitcase up 2 flights of stairs with one hand!) and spent the rest of the evening just relaxing by myself.

So, hello again, Monday! You always come so soon!

Tonight, I'm planning on picking up some paint samples for my office because the yellow, orange, green 1970s playhouse motif is seriously terrible. I'll post some pictures of it when I get a chance.

Have a good week everyone!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Singles' Week

It's just me this week. No, I'm not saying that I am "single this week". I am simply stating that for this week, I am by myself.

Craig is on vacation. I promise I'm not being the mopey pathetic "girl that was left at home", but I do miss him. It's different, because not only is he on vacation, but he is out of the country! So, very little communication. :(

The most difficult part is the realization that, for this week, I am by myself in this city. Carrie moved back to NC (SO SAD!!) and Craig's out of town. My emergency contact is out of town!! What will I do if something happens? Of course, you never worry about those things when people are actually here! Last night, I laid in bed wondering what I would do if I had an emergency. I have one friend still in this city, but let's hope nothing bad happens while the boyfriend is away.

I miss having him around, I really do, but I am so happy he's getting a chance to relax, get away from work, and de-stress with a week of laying on the beach and scuba diving. He certainly needs some time to decompress.

So, I'll keep you posted on how I fare by myself this week. Cooking for one, getting to the gym on my own, and sending emails to a boy in the Caymans. Cheers!

Daily Lust

Freshly laundered, fully made bed with a lot of pillows, a book to finish, and a new episode of Mad Men. Love.

I really need something colorful on that wall... hmm..

Welcome back, Sunday night. I've missed you.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

"Look, in my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are; good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what-have-you. The right person is still going to think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with."

-Mac MacGuff, Juno 2007

Friday, August 13, 2010

Discussion: Does it matter what outsiders think of your relationship?

It’s a question I have asked myself and other people for as long as I can remember. To me, it doesn’t have a simple answer, but since I am shoulder-deep in this topic, I’m finally going to pen my thoughts on the subject.

My first thought is that, ultimately, people should stay out of other people’s relationships. When one of my friends dates a new person, I reserve judgment of that person until I have met them. Even then, I would rarely (or never) comment on their choice in a partner. Here’s the thing: my friend or family member has clearly chosen who they wish to spend their time with. If they make them happy, I am happy. And, like most of you, I expect the same thing from my friends and family.

I do believe that if the relationship puts any of those involved in danger, then outsiders should definitely speak up. If someone in the relationship is physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive, then making your opinion known is warranted if for not other reason, to show you care about their well-being. If no harm is put on anyone in the relationship, you should play nice and keep your mouth shut, no matter what your feelings toward the relationship may be.

“Life is too short, and bowls of happiness too rare to care about what anyone
thinks. Alien space lizards aside, no one should concern themselves with
whomever someone else is dating. Don’t be a meddlesome, clucking busybody. If
you want to ignore the failures in your life by concentrating on and criticizing
the lives of others, watch reality television. That’s what it’s there for.
Otherwise, perform a top kill maneuver on your word gusher and cap it. “

It’s true, that after things ended with my fiancé I heard a lot of comments about how they didn’t feel he was right for me and I even heard from one person that they knew he was a cheater. Most of this information came out in between the time our relationship ended and when I really found out about the second fiancé he had on the side. And you know what? Most of it, I didn’t even believe. I believe it now, but then, I was still giving him the benefit of the doubt. So would all of this information have saved me from heartbreak? No. I was blinded by a relationship that I had made up in my head. To me, everything was perfect and anything anyone could have said would certainly have caused me heartbreak, but a different kind. It would have been very difficult and painful to hear that the person I had chosen was not accepted by them.

On the other side, it’s very gratifying to see the person you have chosen get along with your friends and family and even more so to hear about how wonderful they feel he/she is. But, would I want to hear the negative side if that’s what they felt? Probably not. I have heard of instances where people don’t seem to approve of my current relationship. Honestly, I believe that a relationship is what goes on between two people and has nothing to do with those on the outside. Certainly, I value your opinions, but if I am content and happy.. kindly STFU.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Stuff my boyfriend says.. GUEST EDITION!

Dwight: "Is that a new purfume?"
Sarah: "Um, no. It's hand sanitizer."
Dwight: "Oh.. good."

Monday, August 9, 2010

Oil and Water

A matter of some controversy:

The August 2010 issue of Vogue Italia featured a pretty risque fashion editorial. While couture editorials are not exactly known for being "tame", this one pushes the limits, I believe.

Vogue Italia decided to take "inspiration" from one of the greatest ecological disasters in US history and turn it into "art". While I appreciate that using current events is something that is useful and usually pretty appealing, this one is in bad form.

Let's look at the goods, shall we?

Like I said, I have nothing against meshing current events with fashion editorial. In fact, it can be done very, very well. (Elections, Patriotism, Gay Rights, etc.) But imagine this: If a huge fashion publication located in the US ran an editorial spread, showing luminous women in fabulous couture floating in large bodies of water right after the Boxing Day tsunami, or beautiful gowns amidst a rocky, shaken background after Haiti's earthquake. How would it be received by the rest of the world? There would be uproarious amounts of criticism about our lack of compassion for others. There is a general understanding that controversy, whether it be good or bad, is a good salesman. But this, this is just offensive.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Can we go here please?

Just for an afternoon...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Daily Lust

This, just this.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Weekend in Review

New York finally delivered a gorgeous weekend and we took full advantage! It has been months since I've been able to walk outside without feeling the need to run back in and take a shower - in fact, I've been coming home from work most evenings, stripping down, and jumping straight into a soaking of chilly water.

So when NY1 forecasted a 75 degree morning and an 80 degree afternoon, we planned on spending most of the day outside.

A picnic in Central Park, complete with GMAT studying (and baby-watching, huh? Luckily, Craig had his earplugs in to study so he didn't hear the sound of my ovaries exploding.. hah!)

Later that night, after short naps, we took a perfectly temperatured hand-in-hand stroll around the Upper East Side, doing some night time window shopping.

On Sunday, we had a positively gay brunch with friends down in Chelsea, complete with Craig getting a few winks and waves! After, we headed over to Chelsea Piers for some bowling. Naturally, I lost - even when bowling a turkey!!

Sunday ended with Discovery Channel's Shark Week and snuggles in bed. Altogether, an amazing weekend - now if there was just one more Sunday, it would have been perfection.

How was your weekend?