Like a game of chess, it’s as if each piece is a representative of us. You’ve got your feelings, your emotions, your mind, your body, and like the key piece in the game, the Queen, your heart. As we date and get to know different people, you enter into a game; moving your pieces around, capturing pieces of the other and allowing them to capture yours. A lot of times, the pieces captured are not in order and the game is lost by both people, but we keep playing. We fight, we battle, we cry, we laugh, we make peace, and sometimes, call a truce.
I’ve done a lot of playing “games” since waging my last war. I was wounded, retreated, and left to mend before picking up and playing again. But, again I did play, in search of that perfect partner who could play the game and take my heart.
Like one of my favorite artists, Ingrid Michaelson, sang, “The battle with the heart isn’t easily won. But it can be won.”
It happened. I moved my pieces, and finally opened up my Queen to be captured, and it was. Someone has my heart. And I his. The battle has been won.
I realize some of my readers might be confused at this point, because I’ve been really tight-lipped about this relationship. Essentially, it started as something slow and unknown, and even a little shaky. It wasn’t until I saw our relationship reach a point of stability (and stay there for a while) that I felt comfortable enough to write about it.
So here it is, officially: Meal Plan and I are in it together. We’re in it for the long run. We’re in it for good.
The last time I wrote about Meal Plan, I announced (much to my dismay) that we were just friends. And, we, in fact, were just friends. We were dating other people, but remaining in close contact with each other all of the time. To make a long story short, it took a lot of game playing and finally a surrender for us to finally realize what we both wanted; a lasting, exclusive, committed relationship.
So here we are – he makes me feel like I’m floating. We’ve taken this relationship in baby steps, carefully making sure that we’re doing it right while nurturing each other in a way that makes us grow together, at the same pace. I, of course, needed (and still need sometimes) a lot of care and patience to open up enough to let him in completely. But, I have and he has shown me that I can feel like this – I didn’t think this feeling existed outside of novels and silly RomComs.
Every time we are together, time slows down, as if it’s helping take special care in making memories. The universe is telling me, “Look, Virginia! Remember all of these things – they are amazing.”
Like the night he first told me that he loved me. We were lying in bed, watching TV after spending the day with my mother in the city. We were casually talking and when we both fell comfortably silent, wrapped in each other’s arms, he whispered, “I love you so much.” I can’t even describe what I felt in that exact moment. It was like my chest swelled, a lump rose in my throat, and a light shone through my eyes. As soon as I heard it, I knew I felt it too. “I love you too.”
Since then, I haven’t stopped smiling. Someone loves me! He loves me! Before, “I love you” was something that you said, just because you didn’t really have anything else to say. But now, I know that those words can truly mean something, and you say them because the feelings you’re feeling just can’t be contained anymore – never have I heard words more sincere than those he said that night.
I apologize for the onslaught of ferris wheels, butterflies, heart-shaped confetti, and sprinkles lovey-stuff. Yet, I can’t imagine what I could write about him that wouldn’t include those feelings. Sure, we have leapt off of the ledge away from the safety of stable ground into the scary unknown future, but we leapt together, and good or bad, we’re falling. And no matter what happens, we have love.
So friends, I can officially (yes, meaning I got permission) to introduce MealPlan to you. Readers, meet Craig:
Lunch in Central Park, Thursday, April 8th, 2010
Get to know him, friends. He's sticking around ;)