Monday, August 1, 2011

Goodbye, Wendell

Ah, my dear Wendell ring has been lost.  After a fabulous weekend in the Hampton with great friends, my beloved ring got left behind. It's my own fault, I know that, but it doesn't take away the loss I feel. It sounds silly, to be so emotionally attached to a piece of metal that in the grand scheme of things, is extremely trivial. But, I loved that ring and it meant a lot to me.

The silly thing is that I took it off to swim in the pool on Sunday. I never really take it off (ever!) but I was so concerned about the chemicals affecting the metals that I took it off my hand and laid it on the table. But, it was several hours (and a car ride home) before I realized it was missing. Too late to turn around, too late to go back, too late.

I bought the ring for myself during one of the lowest points in my life. I purchased it as a daily reminder to focus more on the day-to-day rather than what will be in the future. "The journey is the reward" actually etched into the metal was my reminder. 

I'm not one that owns a lot of jewelry.  Nice pieces I have were passed down from loved ones.  I don't usually purchase a lot on my own except for costume pieces.  It was something I found and purchased for no other reason except for me.  It was the perfect piece for daily wear. Dainty, yet unique. Small enough to go unnoticed when paired with bolder pieces, but just enough to be worn alone.  In fact, you can hardly see it in the photo to the left.  The simple gold band picked up touches of gold in any outfit and the silver complemented the watch I always wear.  I am very sad to no longer have it in my jewelry collection. 

Being a firm believer in fate and the universal meaning of events, I am wanting to believe that my complete carelessness means that I am to move on from the 'focus on today' mindset to be strong enough to focus my eyes toward the future.  For the first time since picking up the few things I owned and moved to New York City, I am in a place where I feel stable.  I have an amazing boyfriend, a great group of friends, a job with steady pay and benefits, an apartment of my own, and a kitten that likes to tear it to pieces.  I am my own person, I make my own rules.  And living in the moment was exactly what I needed to do. 

Now, maybe things need to change.  I think I might actually need to adopt a 5-year-plan.  I might have to start putting some money away for the future. Maybe it is time for me to stop focusing on the journey and start thinking about where I am going.  Maybe it is time.

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