Friday, July 31, 2009

Dating Virginia: Double-Dipping

This past weekend was probably my busiest when it comes to “dating” – I crammed 3 dates into 2 days. Yes, readers, I double-dipped in the dating pool and met two different guys in the same day. And, of course, it’s all very story-worthy. Let’s start with date number 1:

****Note: all men have been given proper nicknames. Trying to protect the innocent (and the not so innocent) here****

"Soba noodles" and I decided to meet on Friday night and take a walk around town. It was a nice night, I agreed to meet him in a public place and I got to choose the “walking path” so that I felt comfortable walking with him at night (i.e. no dark alleys, no creepy cross-through streets, and no scary night-time parks) I should have known it would be a dating disaster when I saw him show up in a t-shirt, rolled up jeans, and flip-flops. He looked like he was heading to go find some crawdads in a creek. I wish I could say that was the worst of how he arrived! He was carrying a plastic container (one that your soup from a Chinese restaurant would come in - hence the nickname "Soba noodles") that was full of whiskey! Yes, he was drunk, sweating, stumbling all over the place, and drinking out of a plastic bowl with a top. He said he was nervous (hence the alcohol) and I felt a little sorry for the guy – so I decided to walk with him a bit. (I am entirely too nice.. I should have run away) We ended up sitting on a bench near the river – to which he said it was romantic and asked if he could kiss me. I said “um.. alright” since I was planning to leave anyway. (this is where it gets weird) He reached behind me with his hand, and grabbed my hair, took his other hand and cupped the side of my face – he then forced my chin up with his thumb and went straight for my neck. Yes, he vampired me. He connected so quickly, I had no idea what was happening --- he essentially hoover-vac’ed me. It was very fast, but it hurt really bad – no, he didn’t bite me, but it was like he was trying to suck the skin off my neck – I yelled, and pushed him off, told him that I was NOT interested in that and that I was leaving. He apologized, but I was done – I walked very quickly away at that point. AWKWARD! I have no idea what alternate universe he has lived in that would make that okay (or romantic!) but zOmg! Wtf!?

I went home, still trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, I took a shower, because I had the heebie-jeebies and when I got out of the shower, I noticed a mark on my neck. Yes, he sucked hard enough for 1.5 seconds to give me a damn hickey! Imagine how awkward it was trying to hide a hickey I got the night before on my coffee date scheduled the next day!

Date number 2: "Aerie" and I decided to meet for coffee at 1:30. As I got off the subway uptown at 1:25, I had a voicemail from him – asking if I wanted to meet “for lunch or something” that afternoon. Um.. what? I thought we had already made a plan! I called back, said that was fine, and that I could be uptown in about 15-20 minutes (Hello! I totally had other plans, but I’d be willing to drop them to meet him! Duh!) ;-)

So, I’m standing outside the café waiting for him, hair in a side pony to hide the vamp-bite on my neck (of course) and off the bus comes "Aerie". Let me paint this picture for you. He had a cute face, glasses, (I thought, “okay, good!”) then I begin the downward glance. Faded beige button-up shirt, sleeves rolled up, giant backpack, khaki cargo shorts, mountain boots with pushed down socks (almost like leg-warmer style) He looked like he had just repelled down a mountain! (Or a building) Though I could tell in the first 5 minutes that I was not really into him, I decided to stick it out and give the guy a chance. I still haven’t figured out how to just say “I’m not interested”. We sat, talked about music, which was nice (I had plenty of things to deliver to the conversation because of my mother, thanks mom!) but after a while, I was just tired of the whole thing – he talked in very poetic language – like he would say something like “One doesn’t want to be overbearing” ::hand woff:: - - so I decided to just play along. “Oh yes, I’ve traveled all over the world soul-searching!” “I just loved Australia – I spent an entire week with a shaman learning how to play the didgeridoo!” He ate it right up – he probably thinks I’m fantastic. ::sigh::

Okay, so date number 3, later that night. I was meeting "Seaman" again (I had hung out with him last weekend). Let’s see - - how to describe my “relationship” with "Seaman"…. We put up with each other in a traditional “about town-date scenario” so that we can eventually hook up. Yes, I think I have found my “summer fling”… He’s an ex-Navy guy, which I originally decided to not even go there because of the obvious C-reference, but he caught me with nothing to do on a Saturday night. The alternative was watching the Oxygen network, eating Oreos, and going to bed alone – so, I decided to meet him for drinks. Since I had already polished off half a bottle of wine before I met him, after a few beers, we were making out in dark corners in no time.

He’s cute, but he’s not someone I would really ‘date’… with the tattoos and pot smoking (not allowed near me) but we have amazing 'sexual chemistry'. Ah, whatever, I'm enjoying this for now.

I had another date last night. “Mealplan” – so named because the first 2-3 days we “talked” he kept asking me what I had to eat that day, in a “what was for lunch?” “what did you make for dinner?” kind of way… Annndddd.... I officially have my first crush! I've been on so many dates with so many different people and I normally walk away from them either completely freaked out (as you've read above) or with a general apathetic feeling. Most of the dates are "alright" but there's never been a real spark. Now, I finally got that feeling - a small flutter in my stomach when I get a message from him. Ahh! I'm feeling girly again!

But, it's also terrifying. I mean, I haven't done this in a LONG time. I don't want to get hurt again (especially over something meaningless) but I also don't want to close myself off from something that could be great. Internal struggle: commense!

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