Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Dating Virginia: Let's get started

A glimpse into the life of a single girl on the prowl in the big city.

Yes. I have decided to start a section on this blog all about dating in New York City. Which, is what some of you have been waiting for this whole time (maybe, maybe not).

I'll start with this: I have no idea what I'm doing.

I have never dated before. Yes, I've been on "dates" but I've never participated in the ritual of 'dating' in the adult world. Dating is such a different beast when you're in school. You constantly interact with members of the opposite sex - they know you're eccentricities (at least what you decide to show in public) and you know theirs. It's a game of flirting and giggling and forming a crush because Mr. Plaid Shirt in the front row knows how to do math. Mmmm... math. See? It's easy! You go to a party, get drunk, and confess that you think Mr. Plaid is totes sexy. Maybe you make-out, maybe not, but at least you've got someone in your radar now. It moves to the exchange of phone numbers, a text here and there, sending of a someecard, talking on the phone (all this while continuing to drunkenly stumble around eachother at random parties) and maybe you form a relationship from that. It's the fairytale, right?

It doesn't work that way in the real world.

Not that I really experienced the college way of dating either. I began dating he-who-shall-not-be-named almost immediately after graduating from High School. Our relationship lasted 4 years (almost to the day) and I sat on the sidelines while watching other college co-eds engage in their native dating rituals. I didn't need to participate - but maybe I should have paid closer attention because I haven't a clue how to navigate this ocean of sexual tension that lies between men and women.

First, it is extremely difficult to meet single men in this city. A recent study reported that in New York City, single women outnumber single men by more than 210,000. (Check out your city by clicking HERE) To put that into perspective, it would be like the entire Empire State Building, filled to capacity - with only 2 men. Talk about your competition!! I used to think that it was my inability to compete with the models and actresses (and those that could be) that are all over this city. But, now, I realize that it's all about statistics. And, unlike Sex and the City, you don't get asked out constantly in the grocery store or at the gym, and you'd probably never find your rich doctor husband by falling down in the street. I fell down in the street once (on a date) and all I got was a hole in the knee. (Chilvary fail)

Have I been on dates? Yes, I have. (Details on those may appear in later entries) And yes, plural (meaning more than one, for those who spent too long staring at Mr. Plaid Shirt instead of paying attention in class!) For the most part, they've been an awkward dance of "what do you do?" "what is your favorite tv show?" coupled with thoughts of "if I cross my arms, is that sending the wrong signal?" "should I offer to pay for dinner?" -- it's a mind disaster of nuclear porportions. Most of the time, I feel like the men are all thinking "hmm.. how much money do I have to throw down on her before I can secure a beej for the night?" and I'm thinking "hmm.. how much do I have to flirt to get him to buy me some icecream after dinner?"

Still, the first obstacle is the hardest - putting yourself "out there". Gross. Can't we still have debutante parties where you send out an invitation to society that says, "She's here, she's single, and she wants to be taken home!"??? Either that or find a way to telepathically send out mind signals telling all the single boys to come and knock on our door while we hang out with Ben and Jerry watching Lifetime Original Movies. We can make that work, right?

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