Thursday, January 7, 2010

Back in NYC

I'm back in New York. After over two weeks of "vacation" in North Carolina and Florida, I'm back in my "home" (at least, the home I have tried to create for myself in the city)

I spent every ounce of those two weeks surrounded. Family, friends, pets. By the time the second week rolled around, I was begging for time alone; sneaking off to be with my thoughts as often as I could. Ironic, isn't it? How I wish so often to be back in North Carolina immersed in an atmosphere of friendly banter, games, and time with the people I love most; and when I get the opportunity, I crave solitude. I guess I will eventually have to find a happy medium, but I have noticed that as I have grown, I have needed more time alone.

I'm sitting here tonight, curtains open, lounging in my chair with only the lights of New York and the computer screen glaring back at me. I'm hoping to see just a little bit of snow fall before I go to sleep. The sky is a rosy pink, a perfect preamble to the inevitable snowfall. From here, I can see snippets of other's lives in the city. Windows flicker with lights of a television, curtains are drawn for a day finished, office lights burn while sleepy employees continue to work. It's like each tiny window has a story. That's one of the things that makes New York City so exceptional. 9 million of us are squished into 30 square miles of space. We're literally "right on top of each other". Yet, each of us is able to make our own life. To be different in our own ways. Refreshing, isn't it?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what my 2010 resolutions should be. Of course, I think it is important to keep my 2009 resolutions, because they are vital in maintaining a healthy life mentally and emotionally. But so far, I have been unable to come up with anything that I really want to work on. Of course, I need a job. (ANY job at this point) But, resoluting to have gainful employment seems silly. Shouldn't I always strive for that? Still, I'm going to run out of money before too long - employment is on the top of my list right now.

So, I have no resolutions at the moment. If I come up with something in the coming days, I'll keep you posted. But, for now, I think it's okay to continue the path I have set for myself and focus not on changing so much, but staying the same. Maybe I'm exactly where I am meant to be.

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