Vera Wang Platform Mule Sandal - $516.00
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Dating Virginia: Game Over
Dating is a game. From the beginning of courtship, it’s a game. Arranged relationships were essentially a game of “Risk” where unions were made to further a family’s financial security, families joined to create more power – throughout, there was always strategy and planning. It is a game.
Like a game of chess, it’s as if each piece is a representative of us. You’ve got your feelings, your emotions, your mind, your body, and like the key piece in the game, the Queen, your heart. As we date and get to know different people, you enter into a game; moving your pieces around, capturing pieces of the other and allowing them to capture yours. A lot of times, the pieces captured are not in order and the game is lost by both people, but we keep playing. We fight, we battle, we cry, we laugh, we make peace, and sometimes, call a truce.
I’ve done a lot of playing “games” since waging my last war. I was wounded, retreated, and left to mend before picking up and playing again. But, again I did play, in search of that perfect partner who could play the game and take my heart.
Like one of my favorite artists, Ingrid Michaelson, sang, “The battle with the heart isn’t easily won. But it can be won.”
It happened. I moved my pieces, and finally opened up my Queen to be captured, and it was. Someone has my heart. And I his. The battle has been won.
I realize some of my readers might be confused at this point, because I’ve been really tight-lipped about this relationship. Essentially, it started as something slow and unknown, and even a little shaky. It wasn’t until I saw our relationship reach a point of stability (and stay there for a while) that I felt comfortable enough to write about it.
So here it is, officially: Meal Plan and I are in it together. We’re in it for the long run. We’re in it for good.
The last time I wrote about Meal Plan, I announced (much to my dismay) that we were just friends. And, we, in fact, were just friends. We were dating other people, but remaining in close contact with each other all of the time. To make a long story short, it took a lot of game playing and finally a surrender for us to finally realize what we both wanted; a lasting, exclusive, committed relationship.
So here we are – he makes me feel like I’m floating. We’ve taken this relationship in baby steps, carefully making sure that we’re doing it right while nurturing each other in a way that makes us grow together, at the same pace. I, of course, needed (and still need sometimes) a lot of care and patience to open up enough to let him in completely. But, I have and he has shown me that I can feel like this – I didn’t think this feeling existed outside of novels and silly RomComs.
Every time we are together, time slows down, as if it’s helping take special care in making memories. The universe is telling me, “Look, Virginia! Remember all of these things – they are amazing.”
Like the night he first told me that he loved me. We were lying in bed, watching TV after spending the day with my mother in the city. We were casually talking and when we both fell comfortably silent, wrapped in each other’s arms, he whispered, “I love you so much.” I can’t even describe what I felt in that exact moment. It was like my chest swelled, a lump rose in my throat, and a light shone through my eyes. As soon as I heard it, I knew I felt it too. “I love you too.”
Since then, I haven’t stopped smiling. Someone loves me! He loves me! Before, “I love you” was something that you said, just because you didn’t really have anything else to say. But now, I know that those words can truly mean something, and you say them because the feelings you’re feeling just can’t be contained anymore – never have I heard words more sincere than those he said that night.
I apologize for the onslaught of ferris wheels, butterflies, heart-shaped confetti, and sprinkles lovey-stuff. Yet, I can’t imagine what I could write about him that wouldn’t include those feelings. Sure, we have leapt off of the ledge away from the safety of stable ground into the scary unknown future, but we leapt together, and good or bad, we’re falling. And no matter what happens, we have love.
So friends, I can officially (yes, meaning I got permission) to introduce MealPlan to you. Readers, meet Craig:
Lunch in Central Park, Thursday, April 8th, 2010
Like a game of chess, it’s as if each piece is a representative of us. You’ve got your feelings, your emotions, your mind, your body, and like the key piece in the game, the Queen, your heart. As we date and get to know different people, you enter into a game; moving your pieces around, capturing pieces of the other and allowing them to capture yours. A lot of times, the pieces captured are not in order and the game is lost by both people, but we keep playing. We fight, we battle, we cry, we laugh, we make peace, and sometimes, call a truce.
I’ve done a lot of playing “games” since waging my last war. I was wounded, retreated, and left to mend before picking up and playing again. But, again I did play, in search of that perfect partner who could play the game and take my heart.
Like one of my favorite artists, Ingrid Michaelson, sang, “The battle with the heart isn’t easily won. But it can be won.”
It happened. I moved my pieces, and finally opened up my Queen to be captured, and it was. Someone has my heart. And I his. The battle has been won.
I realize some of my readers might be confused at this point, because I’ve been really tight-lipped about this relationship. Essentially, it started as something slow and unknown, and even a little shaky. It wasn’t until I saw our relationship reach a point of stability (and stay there for a while) that I felt comfortable enough to write about it.
So here it is, officially: Meal Plan and I are in it together. We’re in it for the long run. We’re in it for good.
The last time I wrote about Meal Plan, I announced (much to my dismay) that we were just friends. And, we, in fact, were just friends. We were dating other people, but remaining in close contact with each other all of the time. To make a long story short, it took a lot of game playing and finally a surrender for us to finally realize what we both wanted; a lasting, exclusive, committed relationship.
So here we are – he makes me feel like I’m floating. We’ve taken this relationship in baby steps, carefully making sure that we’re doing it right while nurturing each other in a way that makes us grow together, at the same pace. I, of course, needed (and still need sometimes) a lot of care and patience to open up enough to let him in completely. But, I have and he has shown me that I can feel like this – I didn’t think this feeling existed outside of novels and silly RomComs.
Every time we are together, time slows down, as if it’s helping take special care in making memories. The universe is telling me, “Look, Virginia! Remember all of these things – they are amazing.”
Like the night he first told me that he loved me. We were lying in bed, watching TV after spending the day with my mother in the city. We were casually talking and when we both fell comfortably silent, wrapped in each other’s arms, he whispered, “I love you so much.” I can’t even describe what I felt in that exact moment. It was like my chest swelled, a lump rose in my throat, and a light shone through my eyes. As soon as I heard it, I knew I felt it too. “I love you too.”
Since then, I haven’t stopped smiling. Someone loves me! He loves me! Before, “I love you” was something that you said, just because you didn’t really have anything else to say. But now, I know that those words can truly mean something, and you say them because the feelings you’re feeling just can’t be contained anymore – never have I heard words more sincere than those he said that night.
I apologize for the onslaught of ferris wheels, butterflies, heart-shaped confetti, and sprinkles lovey-stuff. Yet, I can’t imagine what I could write about him that wouldn’t include those feelings. Sure, we have leapt off of the ledge away from the safety of stable ground into the scary unknown future, but we leapt together, and good or bad, we’re falling. And no matter what happens, we have love.
So friends, I can officially (yes, meaning I got permission) to introduce MealPlan to you. Readers, meet Craig:
Lunch in Central Park, Thursday, April 8th, 2010Get to know him, friends. He's sticking around ;)
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
VA Review: The Abs Diet
I am starting a new diet. Of course, this is nothing new, I’ve struggled with weight my entire life. I think I’ve tried almost every diet that is out there, from Weight Watchers, Sugar Busters, Adkins, and I’ve even made up some of my own – the “Eat under 1100 calories a day” diet, the “No sugar, ever!” diet, and the horrible “Fruits and Veggies ONLY” diet. Of course, none of these worked. Sure, some of them would move the scale a bit, but none of them really had any lasting effects.
I lost a lot of weight in my first 6 months living in New York. It was a really popular diet, everyone was talking about it: “Recession.” Yes, I lost weight because I was walking everywhere and only buying the necessities for food. I was eating very little and walking a lot, not necessarily by choice.
When it really comes down to it, I gained most of my weight in my first two years of college. (Damn you, Harden Dining Hall and You, delicious Danieley wraps!) After the first two years, I moved off campus and didn’t walk as much (and I certainly wasn’t exercising!) Then, I was planning a wedding and had already purchased my dress so losing too much weight would have cost more money. (Stop diet!) After the wedding didn’t happen, I gained A LOT of weight. I went down to Florida with some family members and did nothing but eat and wallow. By the time I moved to New York, I was well over 30 pounds more than I should have been.
Let’s fast forward. I’m fat and I want to do something about it.
I am starting The Abs Diet today. Yesterday, I had a cheeseburger and French fries for lunch and giant artery-stopping fajitas for dinner. I drank soda and ate cookies. It was the final day. I essentially wanted to go ahead and eat whatever would tempt me in my cabinets so I could start anew.
I read the book, got an idea of what this “diet” entailed, and went shopping for food. The Abs Diet is a little bit hard to explain. In fact, this is kind of how the conversation goes: “I started a new diet today.”
“Oh really? What is it?” “The Abs Diet”
“Hm.. never heard of it. What is it?”
“Um…”
Here’s the problem: It’s not a “I eat only green foods!” diet. There aren’t really rules or restrictions placed on it. Essentially, the purpose of the diet is to change the habits of your metabolism and make small changes to make your body work with you, not against you. I am to eat 6 times per day.
8:15am – Breakfast
11:00am – Snack
1:00pm – Lunch
4:00pm – Snack
7:00pm – Dinner
9:30pm – Snack
With that food “schedule”, I am to include as many “Power Foods” in each meal or snack as possible. I’m not going to list the foods here, because I think that would be ultimately taking business away from the writer. But, they’re manageable, tasty foods – not anything that I wouldn’t eat anyway. Also, this diet allows one “cheat” meal per week. So, I would not be restricted if I suddenly got a craving for McDonalds or had to go to a birthday party. This is definitely a plus.
Instead of doing many blog posts, I will do a “Diary” of this diet. In the book, there is a 6-week plan. Though I intend to continue healthy eating well after 6 weeks, I will let you have a glimpse into this 6 week journey of mine. Let’s go.
Week 1 Beginning:
It was difficult to force myself to eat at these odd times during the day. At 11:00, I had to stop and go, “Oh, I’m supposed to eat now!” (Even though I wasn’t hungry)
I’m optimistic about this diet and I really believe in the ideals of it. The writer seems to be knowledgeable and realistic about what is to be expected and the inevitable results.
Week 1 End:
I am amazed. I haven’t once craved a cheeseburger (note: when I get cravings, it’s not for sugary treats.. it’s usually for meat. Like steak. Mmmm, steak.) or wanted a Coke. I’m astonished about how easy it is to stick to. The only problem I have (and it’s a small one) is that I have to grab everything I’m going to eat that day (including snacks) before I leave for work in the morning. It’s probably better, really, because I’m not getting to 4:00pm daydreaming about what I’d like to eat.
I am doing this diet with Meal Plan (oh, irony, you’re so silly.) He was the generous soul that bought the Women’s book for me and let me borrow the initial book that helped me get started.
It’s nice, really, to have someone to do this with. And, because he is slightly removed (like, not family or friends I’ve had forever) I feel more accountable to him than I would to, say, my mother. I don’t want to disappoint.
Though (and it does need to be noted that MP and I are in a relationship now, I know I haven’t written about that, but there it is.), I’m a little fearful about agreeing to diet with MP since our relationship is still in a very ‘new’ stage. Some of the time, it seems that all we talk about is food and recipes and ‘what are you eating’s. I know it’s week one and I certainly wouldn’t bring it up. But, I’m hoping the constant diet talk will die down and we can get back to supporting each other through this while also continuing to get to know one another, talking about other things, and working on our budding relationship.
Week 2 Beginning:
-1 pound.
1 Pound? Really? One pound?! Meal Plan lost almost 4 pounds last week! Ugh, men and their metabolisms!
Though it’s frustrating, I also have to take into consideration some other things that may be contributing to the minimal movement in the scale. (Note: I feel like it should be pointed out that I do not own a scale and have been weighing myself on a mail – freight – scale at work. This is classy.) **TMI ALERT** I started my period today. Lady readers, you know that when it’s time, you bloat, hold all the water you possibly can, and feel like a straight-up whale. Gross, mom nature. You’re a bitch.
I’m down, yes. But, still optimistic that all my work from last week will have paid off by next week’s weigh in. I’m keepin’ on!
This diet is 'spensive, yo! I've had to really splurge on a few things like getting a blender, whey powder (that stuff's 25 bucks!), nuts (incredibly expensive in NYC), and fresh produce - starting this thing is costing me a lot of money - I better be crazy skinny at the end of this, just sayin'.
Week 2 End:
I have to pee every 30 minutes. I wake up every day (even weekends) ravenous for breakfast at 8:30am (yes, even on the weekends). I'm ready for a snack at 4:00pm. I can't eat as much in one sitting as I used to and my portions are getting smaller naturally. My body is really starting to adjust to the changes I’ve made and I’ve started to see some results. First to go, the riblets. You know, those fat pieces that sit on the back of your ribs, yeah, the gross ones. It’s been two weeks and I can see my body is transforming (I’m amazed, really). I haven’t been hungry once, and I haven’t felt like I’ve been dieting, but my God! I’m getting thinner! My face is thinner, my ring spins around and hangs upside down most of the time, and my jeans are fitting better. Oddly, the place where I notice it the most is in my winter coat. I’ve really started to move around in there.
Though I wont weigh myself until Monday morning, I am hoping that it will show a significant drop.
Though you’re allowed a “cheat meal”, I haven’t used it yet. The diet hasn’t been difficult to stick to and I haven’t felt the urge or cravings to verge off the path.
Week 3 Beginning:
-2 pounds
I have had a headache for 2 straight days. I think my days of not having caffeine are catching up to me. I normally have two cups of tea each morning at work. With the snowicane that came through, I didn’t work on Friday and Saturday and Sunday I had no caffeine. One thing I have given up is soda. I’m pretty addicted to Coke, but I’ve discovered that flavored sparkling water gives me my craving of carbonation with sweet taste. But, there is no caffeine in it.
I’m going to have to come to a common ground with the caffeine. I can’t give it up because I can hardly keep my eyes open with these headaches.
During week 2, I began an exercise routine. Following it straight out of the book, I want to give an accurate representation of what this diet is. I do it for you, people. I do it for you! It’s a series of muscle toning exercises that target the abs, arms, and legs mostly. Supposedly, after 4 weeks, you’re supposed to start seeing abs. I do the muscle toning exercises on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, with brisk walking or a quick jog on Tuesday and Thursday. It’s really easy for me, since I walk to work everyday. Once it gets warmer, I plan to walk to work (sans subways) on Tuesdays and Thursdays to give my “workout” a little extra oomph!
One thing I really am trying to focus on is my arms. I intend to wear a lot of strappy sundresses this summer and I want my arms to be in tip-top shape. Not Madonna shape, that’s gross.
Meal Plan and I have decided that when we get awesome abs after Week 4, we’ll name them Jersey Shore style. ;)
I’m the beginning of week 3 and I haven’t quit yet! But, I’ll be going out to dinner tomorrow night with a friend, so my stamina will certainly be tested. Make good choices!!
Week 3 End:
I think I did fine with ordering food online – Thai food was chosen – I selected a chicken curry dish that I only ate half of. Though, it’s difficult to determine just how many calories are in foods that are made in restaurants.
I went out for a birthday party and felt really fat amongst friends. I would say that my body image has certainly changed, now that I’m starting to see results. I’m not near where I want to be yet and I’m really starting to consciously notice that I haven’t made it there yet. I tried to stay away from drinks loaded with calories, but I did indulge in some vodka cranberries, which probably had a lot of sugar in it. Shame.
Week 4 Beginning:
-4 pounds
Well, there went the water weight!
I know it seems like I’m constantly complaining, and I should just be grateful that the numbers on the scale keep going in the downward direction. But, to me, I feel like I’ve lost more than the numbers are showing. I should have dropped at least 10 by now, right?
Week 4 End:
Cravings. Lots of them! I want cheeseburgers and bagels. Bad. But, I’ve come this far and I don’t want to turn back on it now. I will just have to keep pressing forward, blocking those cravings out.
I’ve stopped doing the “in book” workout. I wasn’t really feeling like it was doing me any good. (Any exercise is good exercise, I know, but I wasn’t finishing the exercises feeling like I had really worked out) So, I’ve started doing “at home” workouts with Exercise TV On Demand (Check it out, it really is amazing!!). I do much better when someone is yelling at me. It’s like she can really see me when she says, “Don’t stop now!” I did a 20-minute abs workout this week and REALLY felt the burn. (Like, serious soreness the next day) 3 of those per week and I should be pretty muscular!
The book says that you’re supposed to start “seeing abs” at the end of week 4. While I might have more defined ab muscles than when I started, you certainly can’t see them. I can feel them, on the sides, if I press against them, but there’s way too much cushion on top to see anything. Ugh.
Week 5 Beginning:
-1.2 pounds
I REALLY thought that I would have hit the 10-pound mark this week and I was really disheartened to see the scale didn’t reflect that. But, next week should be the breaking point. I’ve done pretty well to maintain a close to 2lbs per week loss, which is healthy for weight loss. Still, I’m impatient (I know I’ve said this A LOT) and want to see more results faster. I’m getting down to the end of my 6-week period and I want to show more results.
I had a little bit of a fall back last night, but didn’t succumb to the temptation. I was hungry around 10:00pm and stared into the cabinets and refrigerator trying to find something to eat. I know that habit can lead to bad snacking. Lately, I’ve been going into my bedroom after 9:30 or so to stop the urge to snack. Not being near the kitchen and food seems to help. I didn’t snack last night, but I did revert back into that “I’m bored, let’s see what there is to eat” realm.
Week 5 End:
I bought a bathing suit today. It’s a tiny, striped bikini. Yellow. Yes, bright yellow and white stripes. Did I mention it’s tiny? It was an impulse buy – a sale and the fuzzy image of me on a beach with 15 more pounds gone. On the one hand, it makes me excited, but on the other, I’m so nervous. Was purchasing something so “nice body required” a stupid idea? I’m going to think of it as a goal to work for instead of a looming terror.
Week 6 Beginning:
+1 pound
I gained a pound. So depressing. I’m trying not to let it get me down, because one pound is hardly anything. I gain and lose 5 pounds in a day, easy. But, it’s still hard to see the downward numbers to suddenly jump back up again. I do know that this week, I will have to work a lot harder to get past this. It’s possible that I have hit a “plateau” and if any of you have dieted before, you know that pushing past the plateau can be difficult.
Week 6 End:
I tried on the bikini. Terrible decision. Let’s just say that I have a LONG way to go before I’ll be able to wear that thing confidently. But, I was able to wear a pair of pants for the first time – I received them for Christmas and have never been able to button them. Major plus to the ego. Still, the image of that swimsuit on me isn’t something that I can easily remove. I have hung the bathing suit up so I can see it every day. It will be a constant reminder of my goal.
END REMARKS
Final 6 week weigh-in
-0.4 pounds
Total 6-week weight loss: 7.6 pounds
While the 6-weeks have come to an end, I have not ended this diet. I have a new goal and will continue to work hard to reach it. If nothing else, I have a never-worn swimsuit that would really love to see the sun and sand this season.
So, do I recommend this? Absolutely. It’s non-depriving, easy to stick to, and it works!
Though I didn’t lose the 10 pounds in the 6 weeks, I surpassed it on the 7th week for a current total loss of 11.6 pounds
VA Rating: 10
Check it out for yourself, I promise you won’t be disappointed.
The Abs Diet For Women : FIND IT HERE
I lost a lot of weight in my first 6 months living in New York. It was a really popular diet, everyone was talking about it: “Recession.” Yes, I lost weight because I was walking everywhere and only buying the necessities for food. I was eating very little and walking a lot, not necessarily by choice.
When it really comes down to it, I gained most of my weight in my first two years of college. (Damn you, Harden Dining Hall and You, delicious Danieley wraps!) After the first two years, I moved off campus and didn’t walk as much (and I certainly wasn’t exercising!) Then, I was planning a wedding and had already purchased my dress so losing too much weight would have cost more money. (Stop diet!) After the wedding didn’t happen, I gained A LOT of weight. I went down to Florida with some family members and did nothing but eat and wallow. By the time I moved to New York, I was well over 30 pounds more than I should have been.
Let’s fast forward. I’m fat and I want to do something about it.
I am starting The Abs Diet today. Yesterday, I had a cheeseburger and French fries for lunch and giant artery-stopping fajitas for dinner. I drank soda and ate cookies. It was the final day. I essentially wanted to go ahead and eat whatever would tempt me in my cabinets so I could start anew.
I read the book, got an idea of what this “diet” entailed, and went shopping for food. The Abs Diet is a little bit hard to explain. In fact, this is kind of how the conversation goes: “I started a new diet today.”
“Oh really? What is it?” “The Abs Diet”
“Hm.. never heard of it. What is it?”
“Um…”
Here’s the problem: It’s not a “I eat only green foods!” diet. There aren’t really rules or restrictions placed on it. Essentially, the purpose of the diet is to change the habits of your metabolism and make small changes to make your body work with you, not against you. I am to eat 6 times per day.
8:15am – Breakfast
11:00am – Snack
1:00pm – Lunch
4:00pm – Snack
7:00pm – Dinner
9:30pm – Snack
With that food “schedule”, I am to include as many “Power Foods” in each meal or snack as possible. I’m not going to list the foods here, because I think that would be ultimately taking business away from the writer. But, they’re manageable, tasty foods – not anything that I wouldn’t eat anyway. Also, this diet allows one “cheat” meal per week. So, I would not be restricted if I suddenly got a craving for McDonalds or had to go to a birthday party. This is definitely a plus.
Instead of doing many blog posts, I will do a “Diary” of this diet. In the book, there is a 6-week plan. Though I intend to continue healthy eating well after 6 weeks, I will let you have a glimpse into this 6 week journey of mine. Let’s go.
Week 1 Beginning:
It was difficult to force myself to eat at these odd times during the day. At 11:00, I had to stop and go, “Oh, I’m supposed to eat now!” (Even though I wasn’t hungry)
I’m optimistic about this diet and I really believe in the ideals of it. The writer seems to be knowledgeable and realistic about what is to be expected and the inevitable results.
Week 1 End:
I am amazed. I haven’t once craved a cheeseburger (note: when I get cravings, it’s not for sugary treats.. it’s usually for meat. Like steak. Mmmm, steak.) or wanted a Coke. I’m astonished about how easy it is to stick to. The only problem I have (and it’s a small one) is that I have to grab everything I’m going to eat that day (including snacks) before I leave for work in the morning. It’s probably better, really, because I’m not getting to 4:00pm daydreaming about what I’d like to eat.
I am doing this diet with Meal Plan (oh, irony, you’re so silly.) He was the generous soul that bought the Women’s book for me and let me borrow the initial book that helped me get started.
It’s nice, really, to have someone to do this with. And, because he is slightly removed (like, not family or friends I’ve had forever) I feel more accountable to him than I would to, say, my mother. I don’t want to disappoint.
Though (and it does need to be noted that MP and I are in a relationship now, I know I haven’t written about that, but there it is.), I’m a little fearful about agreeing to diet with MP since our relationship is still in a very ‘new’ stage. Some of the time, it seems that all we talk about is food and recipes and ‘what are you eating’s. I know it’s week one and I certainly wouldn’t bring it up. But, I’m hoping the constant diet talk will die down and we can get back to supporting each other through this while also continuing to get to know one another, talking about other things, and working on our budding relationship.
Week 2 Beginning:
-1 pound.
1 Pound? Really? One pound?! Meal Plan lost almost 4 pounds last week! Ugh, men and their metabolisms!
Though it’s frustrating, I also have to take into consideration some other things that may be contributing to the minimal movement in the scale. (Note: I feel like it should be pointed out that I do not own a scale and have been weighing myself on a mail – freight – scale at work. This is classy.) **TMI ALERT** I started my period today. Lady readers, you know that when it’s time, you bloat, hold all the water you possibly can, and feel like a straight-up whale. Gross, mom nature. You’re a bitch.
I’m down, yes. But, still optimistic that all my work from last week will have paid off by next week’s weigh in. I’m keepin’ on!
This diet is 'spensive, yo! I've had to really splurge on a few things like getting a blender, whey powder (that stuff's 25 bucks!), nuts (incredibly expensive in NYC), and fresh produce - starting this thing is costing me a lot of money - I better be crazy skinny at the end of this, just sayin'.
Week 2 End:
I have to pee every 30 minutes. I wake up every day (even weekends) ravenous for breakfast at 8:30am (yes, even on the weekends). I'm ready for a snack at 4:00pm. I can't eat as much in one sitting as I used to and my portions are getting smaller naturally. My body is really starting to adjust to the changes I’ve made and I’ve started to see some results. First to go, the riblets. You know, those fat pieces that sit on the back of your ribs, yeah, the gross ones. It’s been two weeks and I can see my body is transforming (I’m amazed, really). I haven’t been hungry once, and I haven’t felt like I’ve been dieting, but my God! I’m getting thinner! My face is thinner, my ring spins around and hangs upside down most of the time, and my jeans are fitting better. Oddly, the place where I notice it the most is in my winter coat. I’ve really started to move around in there.
Though I wont weigh myself until Monday morning, I am hoping that it will show a significant drop.
Though you’re allowed a “cheat meal”, I haven’t used it yet. The diet hasn’t been difficult to stick to and I haven’t felt the urge or cravings to verge off the path.
Week 3 Beginning:
-2 pounds
I have had a headache for 2 straight days. I think my days of not having caffeine are catching up to me. I normally have two cups of tea each morning at work. With the snowicane that came through, I didn’t work on Friday and Saturday and Sunday I had no caffeine. One thing I have given up is soda. I’m pretty addicted to Coke, but I’ve discovered that flavored sparkling water gives me my craving of carbonation with sweet taste. But, there is no caffeine in it.
I’m going to have to come to a common ground with the caffeine. I can’t give it up because I can hardly keep my eyes open with these headaches.
During week 2, I began an exercise routine. Following it straight out of the book, I want to give an accurate representation of what this diet is. I do it for you, people. I do it for you! It’s a series of muscle toning exercises that target the abs, arms, and legs mostly. Supposedly, after 4 weeks, you’re supposed to start seeing abs. I do the muscle toning exercises on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, with brisk walking or a quick jog on Tuesday and Thursday. It’s really easy for me, since I walk to work everyday. Once it gets warmer, I plan to walk to work (sans subways) on Tuesdays and Thursdays to give my “workout” a little extra oomph!
One thing I really am trying to focus on is my arms. I intend to wear a lot of strappy sundresses this summer and I want my arms to be in tip-top shape. Not Madonna shape, that’s gross.
Meal Plan and I have decided that when we get awesome abs after Week 4, we’ll name them Jersey Shore style. ;)
I’m the beginning of week 3 and I haven’t quit yet! But, I’ll be going out to dinner tomorrow night with a friend, so my stamina will certainly be tested. Make good choices!!
Week 3 End:
I think I did fine with ordering food online – Thai food was chosen – I selected a chicken curry dish that I only ate half of. Though, it’s difficult to determine just how many calories are in foods that are made in restaurants.
I went out for a birthday party and felt really fat amongst friends. I would say that my body image has certainly changed, now that I’m starting to see results. I’m not near where I want to be yet and I’m really starting to consciously notice that I haven’t made it there yet. I tried to stay away from drinks loaded with calories, but I did indulge in some vodka cranberries, which probably had a lot of sugar in it. Shame.
Week 4 Beginning:
-4 pounds
Well, there went the water weight!
I know it seems like I’m constantly complaining, and I should just be grateful that the numbers on the scale keep going in the downward direction. But, to me, I feel like I’ve lost more than the numbers are showing. I should have dropped at least 10 by now, right?
Week 4 End:
Cravings. Lots of them! I want cheeseburgers and bagels. Bad. But, I’ve come this far and I don’t want to turn back on it now. I will just have to keep pressing forward, blocking those cravings out.
I’ve stopped doing the “in book” workout. I wasn’t really feeling like it was doing me any good. (Any exercise is good exercise, I know, but I wasn’t finishing the exercises feeling like I had really worked out) So, I’ve started doing “at home” workouts with Exercise TV On Demand (Check it out, it really is amazing!!). I do much better when someone is yelling at me. It’s like she can really see me when she says, “Don’t stop now!” I did a 20-minute abs workout this week and REALLY felt the burn. (Like, serious soreness the next day) 3 of those per week and I should be pretty muscular!
The book says that you’re supposed to start “seeing abs” at the end of week 4. While I might have more defined ab muscles than when I started, you certainly can’t see them. I can feel them, on the sides, if I press against them, but there’s way too much cushion on top to see anything. Ugh.
Week 5 Beginning:
-1.2 pounds
I REALLY thought that I would have hit the 10-pound mark this week and I was really disheartened to see the scale didn’t reflect that. But, next week should be the breaking point. I’ve done pretty well to maintain a close to 2lbs per week loss, which is healthy for weight loss. Still, I’m impatient (I know I’ve said this A LOT) and want to see more results faster. I’m getting down to the end of my 6-week period and I want to show more results.
I had a little bit of a fall back last night, but didn’t succumb to the temptation. I was hungry around 10:00pm and stared into the cabinets and refrigerator trying to find something to eat. I know that habit can lead to bad snacking. Lately, I’ve been going into my bedroom after 9:30 or so to stop the urge to snack. Not being near the kitchen and food seems to help. I didn’t snack last night, but I did revert back into that “I’m bored, let’s see what there is to eat” realm.
Week 5 End:
I bought a bathing suit today. It’s a tiny, striped bikini. Yellow. Yes, bright yellow and white stripes. Did I mention it’s tiny? It was an impulse buy – a sale and the fuzzy image of me on a beach with 15 more pounds gone. On the one hand, it makes me excited, but on the other, I’m so nervous. Was purchasing something so “nice body required” a stupid idea? I’m going to think of it as a goal to work for instead of a looming terror.
Week 6 Beginning:
+1 pound
I gained a pound. So depressing. I’m trying not to let it get me down, because one pound is hardly anything. I gain and lose 5 pounds in a day, easy. But, it’s still hard to see the downward numbers to suddenly jump back up again. I do know that this week, I will have to work a lot harder to get past this. It’s possible that I have hit a “plateau” and if any of you have dieted before, you know that pushing past the plateau can be difficult.
Week 6 End:
I tried on the bikini. Terrible decision. Let’s just say that I have a LONG way to go before I’ll be able to wear that thing confidently. But, I was able to wear a pair of pants for the first time – I received them for Christmas and have never been able to button them. Major plus to the ego. Still, the image of that swimsuit on me isn’t something that I can easily remove. I have hung the bathing suit up so I can see it every day. It will be a constant reminder of my goal.
END REMARKS
Final 6 week weigh-in
-0.4 pounds
Total 6-week weight loss: 7.6 pounds
While the 6-weeks have come to an end, I have not ended this diet. I have a new goal and will continue to work hard to reach it. If nothing else, I have a never-worn swimsuit that would really love to see the sun and sand this season.
So, do I recommend this? Absolutely. It’s non-depriving, easy to stick to, and it works!
Though I didn’t lose the 10 pounds in the 6 weeks, I surpassed it on the 7th week for a current total loss of 11.6 pounds
VA Rating: 10
Check it out for yourself, I promise you won’t be disappointed.
The Abs Diet For Women : FIND IT HERE
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Daughter, Once Removed
I spent my entire life surrounded and encompassed by family members. Massive amounts of family members. Never was it just my brother and sister, mother and father. There was always an aunt, uncle, cousin, or grandparent. Always.
Until now.
A lot of my first year in New York was spent remaining in constant contact with those I love the most. But, in the past 6 months, communication has dwindled. In fact, communication at all is rare. Of course, many things have happened that could account for the lack of conversation. My grandfather's death, my father's cancer, and my general unemployment are all things that are just too difficult to talk about; and since those things encompass 80% of my life, there's not much else to speak of. It's my own fault, really. I didn't have good news to share, so I stopped sharing everything. I stopped calling, I stopped asking, and in turn, I stopped getting called, I stopped getting asked.
Most of the time, I coast along on general apathy, not bothering to worry too much about my future. I am accepting the fact that what is to happen will happen and I accept that. I apply for jobs and continue to look for things to open up doors for me, but the stress of constantly worrying about it became too much, so I stopped.
Yet, on nights like tonight, I feel the pressure. The pressure of my life and the unknown feels like being too far underwater. My chest gets tight, my muscles tense, and I long for the comforts I once knew. I miss the comfort of my room at home, just across the hall from my parents. I miss the closeness of my grandparents, knowing that I could see them in 5 minutes if I wanted to. I miss being the daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, niece I used to be. I miss the all-knowing family I had. I never had to tell about my problems, they just knew. Things were easy.
I guess it's part of growing up. I've had to remove myself from my close-knit family in order to find out who I really am. Have I figured that out yet? Certainly not. But, I'm trying. And maybe I'm getting closer. Maybe.
Until now.
A lot of my first year in New York was spent remaining in constant contact with those I love the most. But, in the past 6 months, communication has dwindled. In fact, communication at all is rare. Of course, many things have happened that could account for the lack of conversation. My grandfather's death, my father's cancer, and my general unemployment are all things that are just too difficult to talk about; and since those things encompass 80% of my life, there's not much else to speak of. It's my own fault, really. I didn't have good news to share, so I stopped sharing everything. I stopped calling, I stopped asking, and in turn, I stopped getting called, I stopped getting asked.
Most of the time, I coast along on general apathy, not bothering to worry too much about my future. I am accepting the fact that what is to happen will happen and I accept that. I apply for jobs and continue to look for things to open up doors for me, but the stress of constantly worrying about it became too much, so I stopped.
Yet, on nights like tonight, I feel the pressure. The pressure of my life and the unknown feels like being too far underwater. My chest gets tight, my muscles tense, and I long for the comforts I once knew. I miss the comfort of my room at home, just across the hall from my parents. I miss the closeness of my grandparents, knowing that I could see them in 5 minutes if I wanted to. I miss being the daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, niece I used to be. I miss the all-knowing family I had. I never had to tell about my problems, they just knew. Things were easy.
I guess it's part of growing up. I've had to remove myself from my close-knit family in order to find out who I really am. Have I figured that out yet? Certainly not. But, I'm trying. And maybe I'm getting closer. Maybe.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Rain, Rain, You Can Stay
There is a thunderstorm in New York City tonight. It reminds me of summer nights as warm storms would roll across the Carolinas. Half of me misses those humid Carolina nights, but the other half is so excited for spring and summer in New York. I'm sure years down the road, I'll sit on a porch listening to the rain and have happy memories of New York City rainstorms.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Time for me to complain...
I cant even begin to describe the disappointment I'm feeling right now. You know when you're so excited for something only to find that it's not happening? That kind of let down, like having to cancel your pool party due to a hurricane.
Weeks ago, I had an interview scheduled for a Field Merchandising Coordinator position with Radley London. After it being cancelled due to Snowmageddon 2010 and scheduled 2 weeks later, I have just been informed that my interview (tomorrow) has been cancelled again. No, not weather related, put simply, the position has been put "on hold".
I think the fact that I'm not going to get the chance to interview for this job is worse than going to the interview and not getting the position. At least I would known that the job wasn't a good fit and I could move on to something else. But I had very high hopes for this job. "My perfect job". And now I can't have it.
So, it's back to the drawing board for me. For now, I'll continue to temp and apply for jobs as I have been for the past 18 months.
I just wish at some point something would come through for me. I've paid my dues, I've been patient. It's time for something to come my way.
Weeks ago, I had an interview scheduled for a Field Merchandising Coordinator position with Radley London. After it being cancelled due to Snowmageddon 2010 and scheduled 2 weeks later, I have just been informed that my interview (tomorrow) has been cancelled again. No, not weather related, put simply, the position has been put "on hold".
I think the fact that I'm not going to get the chance to interview for this job is worse than going to the interview and not getting the position. At least I would known that the job wasn't a good fit and I could move on to something else. But I had very high hopes for this job. "My perfect job". And now I can't have it.
So, it's back to the drawing board for me. For now, I'll continue to temp and apply for jobs as I have been for the past 18 months.
I just wish at some point something would come through for me. I've paid my dues, I've been patient. It's time for something to come my way.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
DIY Headboard
If you live in New York City, it's likely that you're renting your space. Because of small apartments and rules stipulated in leases, it's difficult to make a space your own. I was able to paint my bedroom in my Murray Hill apartment and decided to paint it shortly after moving in. I painted two opposing walls a deep, charcoal gray to add a little warmth and depth to the room. Leaving the two remaining walls white allowed the darker color to not overpower.
Still, even after painting, there was a definite missing piece behind the bed. I needed a headboard. Sure, I could go out and purchase a headboard, but with limited funds, that wasn't really an option. Also, I always have to consider the fact that I might move again. Would I be able to move a headboard and would I be able to find another space large enough for it? My last apartment certainly wasn't!
So, I came up with an idea. I decided that I would make the "illusion" of a headboard by painting directly on the wall behind the bed.
The project itself cost me 5 whole dollars. Home Depot makes "tester" size paints, you can choose whatever color of whatever brand of paint you want and they give you a small jar of it so you can paint a patch and see if you like a color. And, at $2.95, you can't beat the price! For this, I decided to paint two lines (one white, one light blue) using painters tape to give clean lines.
With the bed in its usual space, I marked the wall to determine where I wanted the edge of the "headboard" to be. From there, I measured, making marks of where I wanted each point to be. Then, I simply connected the dots. After taping, I went over each piece with a level to make sure the lines were straight and even.
Then I got to painting. I painted the interior, smaller, line blue and the larger outer line white. I think the differing colors adds some definition to the effect.
So here's the finished product. I don't normally have yellow sheets on my bed (usually I have a set of gray ones on there - they match the walls) but I changed them to something more cheerful during the snow storms.
Personally, I love it. I think it adds something to the wall and makes the bed more of a focal point than it was before. It was a super easy project that anyone could do. And, you could easily paint frames around hanging pictures, windows, or anything!
Still, even after painting, there was a definite missing piece behind the bed. I needed a headboard. Sure, I could go out and purchase a headboard, but with limited funds, that wasn't really an option. Also, I always have to consider the fact that I might move again. Would I be able to move a headboard and would I be able to find another space large enough for it? My last apartment certainly wasn't!
So, I came up with an idea. I decided that I would make the "illusion" of a headboard by painting directly on the wall behind the bed.
The project itself cost me 5 whole dollars. Home Depot makes "tester" size paints, you can choose whatever color of whatever brand of paint you want and they give you a small jar of it so you can paint a patch and see if you like a color. And, at $2.95, you can't beat the price! For this, I decided to paint two lines (one white, one light blue) using painters tape to give clean lines.
With the bed in its usual space, I marked the wall to determine where I wanted the edge of the "headboard" to be. From there, I measured, making marks of where I wanted each point to be. Then, I simply connected the dots. After taping, I went over each piece with a level to make sure the lines were straight and even. 
Then I got to painting. I painted the interior, smaller, line blue and the larger outer line white. I think the differing colors adds some definition to the effect. So here's the finished product. I don't normally have yellow sheets on my bed (usually I have a set of gray ones on there - they match the walls) but I changed them to something more cheerful during the snow storms.
Personally, I love it. I think it adds something to the wall and makes the bed more of a focal point than it was before. It was a super easy project that anyone could do. And, you could easily paint frames around hanging pictures, windows, or anything!
Friday, February 26, 2010
Old Wounds
Last year, I was contacted by a casting company for an upcoming show about those who planned weddings and, for whatever reason, didn't make it to the altar. I was contacted last May, almost one year after my relationship explosion. Though I had healed a lot, I still had a fresh, wide-open, wounded heart. I would have given anything to share the pain with someone else. Though, I will admit, that my motive for participating at the time was vindictive. I wanted everyone (especially him) to know that I was better off without him in my life - even so much as telling it on national TV. So, I shared my story with the casting director, we spoke for a very long time and I was excited that I would get the chance to share my experience.
Months went by and I heard nothing from the casting director. I assumed the project had been derailed and I had forgotten all about the days I shared my stories with that woman.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, I received a call from a man in Los Angeles. He told me he worked with a production company and was wondering if I was still interested in being a part of the television show about "weddings that weren't". Instinctually, I said "Yes! Absolutely!" and took the man's information. He said they were in the process of determining who was still willing to participate and would be in touch with me soon about specifics.
In the 24 hours since that phone call, I've thought a lot about what I want to do. I haven't shared the news with many people (only 2 until now) because I wanted to take some time to get rid of the "OMG I might be on TV!!" feelings and really figure out if this is something that I want to do.
I've done a lot of healing in the past 20 months. I've experienced just about every emotion that a person possibly can. And though I know I haven't completely forgiven him, I've certainly moved on from having any thoughts about him whatsoever. I've come out of it with a large amount of emotional scarring, and I'm pretty sure I will always have trust issues with men. But, I've become a new person and believe it or not, I found I am still able to open my heart, become a little vulnerable, and let someone else in. It's slow, of course, but I have been reassured that it can happen to me.
So, would it be unwise to reopen some of those wounds and share them with a national audience? I'm really riding the fence with this one. Part of me feels that allowing myself to feel those emotions again will push me back into some of those old feelings; and I'll end up in places I swore I never wanted to revisit. Retelling my story will force me to relive it all again - to re-experience each and every detail. Do I want to do that? And, more importantly, am I strong enough to do that?
There's the other side, of course. Sharing my experience could help others who may be in the same situation. Right after it happened, I was humiliated. And as time went on, I encountered more and more people who had experienced something similar. I knew I wasn't alone. Also, I found that a lot of people didn't understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Feelings like humiliation and guilt were very prevalent during the whole ordeal and I was constantly asked "Why do you feel guilty? You did nothing wrong.." and I could never really explain where it was coming from. So, could I be someone that could help? Could I be that person that says, "It will be okay, I've been where you are. You will be okay."
Also, I wonder if I'm really a "success story" here - Am I what people would want to look to? Sure, I moved from small-town-North-Carolina to big-city-New-York and have made somewhat of a life for myself here, but I haven't exactly been "successful" (in the monetary sense). Still, I was in the "pit of despair" emotionally and found a way out of it. I became happy again, which is a success in itself.
So, I'm still deciding. Of course, a final decision doesn't have to be made yet because I still don't know the logistics of it all. I'll have to wait and see if I'm contacted again and determine if I will move forward with this project. But I'll ask you, dear readers. What do you think I should do?
Months went by and I heard nothing from the casting director. I assumed the project had been derailed and I had forgotten all about the days I shared my stories with that woman.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, I received a call from a man in Los Angeles. He told me he worked with a production company and was wondering if I was still interested in being a part of the television show about "weddings that weren't". Instinctually, I said "Yes! Absolutely!" and took the man's information. He said they were in the process of determining who was still willing to participate and would be in touch with me soon about specifics.
In the 24 hours since that phone call, I've thought a lot about what I want to do. I haven't shared the news with many people (only 2 until now) because I wanted to take some time to get rid of the "OMG I might be on TV!!" feelings and really figure out if this is something that I want to do.
I've done a lot of healing in the past 20 months. I've experienced just about every emotion that a person possibly can. And though I know I haven't completely forgiven him, I've certainly moved on from having any thoughts about him whatsoever. I've come out of it with a large amount of emotional scarring, and I'm pretty sure I will always have trust issues with men. But, I've become a new person and believe it or not, I found I am still able to open my heart, become a little vulnerable, and let someone else in. It's slow, of course, but I have been reassured that it can happen to me.
So, would it be unwise to reopen some of those wounds and share them with a national audience? I'm really riding the fence with this one. Part of me feels that allowing myself to feel those emotions again will push me back into some of those old feelings; and I'll end up in places I swore I never wanted to revisit. Retelling my story will force me to relive it all again - to re-experience each and every detail. Do I want to do that? And, more importantly, am I strong enough to do that?
There's the other side, of course. Sharing my experience could help others who may be in the same situation. Right after it happened, I was humiliated. And as time went on, I encountered more and more people who had experienced something similar. I knew I wasn't alone. Also, I found that a lot of people didn't understand why I was feeling the way I was feeling. Feelings like humiliation and guilt were very prevalent during the whole ordeal and I was constantly asked "Why do you feel guilty? You did nothing wrong.." and I could never really explain where it was coming from. So, could I be someone that could help? Could I be that person that says, "It will be okay, I've been where you are. You will be okay."
Also, I wonder if I'm really a "success story" here - Am I what people would want to look to? Sure, I moved from small-town-North-Carolina to big-city-New-York and have made somewhat of a life for myself here, but I haven't exactly been "successful" (in the monetary sense). Still, I was in the "pit of despair" emotionally and found a way out of it. I became happy again, which is a success in itself.
So, I'm still deciding. Of course, a final decision doesn't have to be made yet because I still don't know the logistics of it all. I'll have to wait and see if I'm contacted again and determine if I will move forward with this project. But I'll ask you, dear readers. What do you think I should do?
Snow Day
Thursday, February 25, 2010
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