‎"This is love, she thought, isn't it? When you notice someone's absence and hate that absence more than anything? More, even, than you love his presence?"
— Jonathan Safran Foer (Everything Is Illuminated)

A few of my favorite things..

Okay, so 2010 is winding down and at some point, I'll have to dig thorough my blog archives and see how I shaped up 2010 and if I hit any of my targets for the year. For now, I'll simply share some of my favorite things:

Super tall kitchen cabinets with a "library ladder" to reach them

Seriously, though. How cool would that be???

These gorgeous Jimmy Choo sandals are sitting in a window of a NYC consignment shop

IN MY SIZE

Unfortunately, I have never encountered the shop actually open.

Hopefully, these babies will be fated into my life at a reasonable price!

A rocking chair built for two.

Don't tell me that's not nifty..

Dresses with full skirts.

This one is from ModCloth and rings in at a cool $399.99

Time to find a knock-off!!

Beautiful, colorful wedges for 2011

Nine West, available now for preorder

Uggs. I used to hate Uggs. Until, my feet were freezing in NYC.

I got these shoes for Christmas and they've hardly left my feet since.

I'm in love with them and I want MORE MORE MORE MORE!!

Fanciful luggage.. Just because.

Terrida Upright Trolly - Retail: $1,290.00

Cutesy plates and mugs.

Kate Spade, Sag Harbor Green mug

Forehead kisses. Really now, who doesn't love that?

Claw-footed bathtubs

(Well, clean bathrooms in general)

BRUNCH! I just love brunch!

I can't wait until spring in the city to enjoy a good outdoor brunch again.

Supposedly, Double Crown makes THE BEST bloody marys.

I've never had the bloody mary, but the food was pretty spot on!

This idea. So so cool..

The fact that someone knitted an entire casing for the Financial District Bull

MORE TO COME!

This is probably the closest I will ever come to spending New Years Eve in Times Square. 7 days prior, in a cab.

I hate this movie

I mean it, I hate "A Christmas Story". My father loves this movie and every Christmas, TBS plays "A Christmas Story" for a full 24 hours. Thus, my father watches it for the entire 24 hours. It could very well be the reason why I hate that movie.

Merry Christmas Eve, everyone! May you all be blessed!

We shivered and shook, our breath made soft clouds in the air, Jack Frost nipped at our noses; but we went to see it anyway. And it was beautiful. Merry Christmas, dear ones.

"There's a pale winter moon in the sky coming through my window
And the park is laid out like a bed below
It's a cold, dark night and my heart melts like the snow
And the bells of New York City tell me not to go

It's always this time of year that my thoughts undo me
With the ghosts of many lifetimes all abound
But from these mad heights I can always hear the sound
Of the bells of New York City singing all around

Stay with me, stay with me
Refuge from these broken dreams
Wait right here, awake with me
On silent, snow filled streets."

-Josh Groban, Bells of New York City

'Tis the season to... overindulge

My diet is seriously off track. In fact, I have fallen further back in this week than I did over my Thanksgiving at home, including 3 full Thanksgiving dinners.

This week, Craig and I attended 3 Christmas parties (with one after-party) and a birthday celebration accompanied with enough fried food to make even the North Carolina State Fair weep with cardiac fear.

All of the food and drinks of the week and not a single foot in the gym, literally left us flat on our backs Saturday night, a Ginger-Ale on each night stand, sharing a bottle of Pepto Bismol.

I'm feeling slightly better this Monday afternoon, after having a single tomato for dinner Sunday night and a slice of bread with peanut butter on it for breakfast this morning. One thing I have certainly learned: I just can't eat like I used to. I think I have literally shrunk my stomach so that I simply cannot indulge like I have before. When I do, I feel sick, nauseous, and my stomach bloats, leaving me looking like I'm 5 months pregnant. (yikes!)

So, I vow to get back on it! I've still got a ways to go to meet my goal and after a month and a half, I've probably just broken even. Going to try to stay in the negatives moving forward! Hold me to it!

Stuff My Boyfriend Says...

"I could never get away with beating you.. you bruise too easily."

*Upon noticing a pattern of small triangles bruised into my back from taking a 20 min bath laying on my anti-slip pads*

In the 5th grade, I was in a Spelling Bee. I was eliminated from the competition after incorrectly spelling "Engineer".

Now, every time I spell "Engineer", I think of that contest. Kinda weird, huh?

H&M Spring 2011 Lookbook

Just take a moment to enjoy the pretty:

I sort of fell head-over-heels with maxi dresses last summer and I don't think I'm going to get through the season without a few more. And high-waisted, wide-leg pants? Yes please!

Be a best friend,
Tell the truth,
And overuse "I love you".

Go to work,
Do your best,
Don't outsmart your common sense.

Never let your prayin' knees get lazy.
And love like crazy.

I think I found the perfect present for Craig..

The Daily Lust

Hello, I need you..

Kate Spade, Casie

7 Things I've Been Doing

I know, I know... I've been terrible about keeping this blog updated with fascinating material.

So, in order to get back on track, I need to do some updating. What have I been doing? Take a look:

1. Working:

My job is going pretty well. It's incredibly nice to have some security these days! Basically, I'm the executive assistant to everyone in my office. Sure, my job is much more than "can I get you some coffee?" but I'm essentially the go-to person for any needs in my office, in addition to my other duties. My company produces and sells equipment for audio production (recording studios) and broadcast (television studios) companies. It's a pretty cool company and I'm really starting to get some close contacts within the industry that could end up being helpful in transitioning into something more in line with my career path. Sometimes, though, I feel like I'm getting so far away from a "career", that it will be too hard to go back. But, I have to remind myself that I'm still young and there's no wrong way to start a career. It certainly couldn't hurt to have more money though!



2. Gettin' Skinny

In approximately seven months, I'll be boarding a gigantic cruise ship for a week-long vacation in the Caribbean. Every 5 years, my family takes a vacation to celebrate the marriage of my grandparents and the wonderful family they formed from that bond. And, each time before, I have vowed to drop some weight and feel comfortable in my body while on that very anticipated vacation. Each time, I have failed. Until this year. I believe I've made progress with myself (mentally) and have done what needs to be done to prepare for this challenge. While I have already lost a bit of weight since the beginning of 2010, I'm working on the final push toward my goal. I am happy to report that I have gone to the gym (or have done some sort of exercise) regularly since I began this uphill climb. This includes cardio, group exercise classes, and Exercise TV On Demand (Greatest thing ever, it's free.. look it up. Amazing!) and I have the sore body to prove it! More importantly, for the first time (in like, ever) my body fat percentage is in the "healthy" range. I don't remember a time where I did a body fat percentage calculator that didn't put me in the "overweight" category. Now, I fall into "normal". Healthy is the ultimate goal here; a bikini bod is just the icing (okay, fat free cool whip) ;)



3. Cooking

It's no secret that I find comfort in the kitchen. As a "baker", traditionally, my mind naturally wonders toward recipes of the sweeter nature. Since that can be bad news for the diet tribe, I've had to take charge of my recipes and ensure they pack the nutrients my body needs. I've made an effort to include lean meats, high fiber, and low carbohydrates in the meals I make. One of my favorite things though, is that Craig and I cook together. We're learning how to eat better while still maintaining the fun of preparing a meal and the reward of something flavorful and healthy. In the past month, we've cranked out things like Turkey Pumpkin Chili, Lemon Talapia Steamers, Honey Glazed Pork Chops, among others.


4. Writing

Because my job offers no sort of creative outlet, I've found myself in a creative deficiency. That, coupled with money problems, I've decided to start freelance writing. I'm starting slow, maybe one to two articles a month, dealing most likely with women's issues. It's a way I can express myself creatively and begin to develop an in-depth portfolio of published works. Stay tuned on this one, I'll be updating you on where you can see some VA originals in the coming weeks!


5. Boyfriending

Craig, Craig.. what can I say about Craig? I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend most of my time with this guy. Craig is also working with me on the "gettin' skinny" program, so we've been spending a lot of time at the gym. Our relationship has gotten better, stronger even, and we're finding it easier to navigate the "relationship maze" merging our individuality with togetherness and keeping both of us happy. I find myself wondering what I could have possibly done to deserve him, but I'm learning to just live my life and enjoy having him in it.


6. Money Hoarding

Seems like there is never enough money. I know I have survived on far less than I have right now, but it just feels like each and every month, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel. This is especially disheartening because I've had to sacrifice attending some key events in my friend's lives (like bachelorette weekends, birthday parties, etc.) due to financial constraints. I do understand that it might not always be that way, but it's difficult to tell people I can't participate in their joys and successes because of my financial situation. Because of this (and with a few important events coming up) I have been money hoarding. I've pinched every penny, tucked away every dollar. I only shop for things that I absolutely need and I have a very careful budget about food. It's not easy, and it's definitely not fun, but it's what I have to do to survive. Financial freedom is something I definitely do not have at the moment.


7. Living

So basically, it's work, a little play, and never enough sleep. My tiny studio apartment is beginning to feel more and more like home and settling in has been easier than I could have imagined. I'm sure one day, when I have a multiple bedroom home, complete with a washer and dryer, I'll think back on my tiny studio in Manhattan with fondness and humor. It may be small, but it's what I've got and I'm loving what I've got.

What's next?

With the holidays coming up, I'll be making a few trips back to North Carolina to visit with my family and friends.. super excited for this!

There you have it: 7 things I've been "up to". Most importantly, I'm happy. I'm making a life for myself in the city and I'm becoming more comfortable with who I am each and every day. The bridge between small-town girl and city woman is getting smaller with each passing moment. Two different worlds, both belonging to me!

My insatiable desire to bake delicious things interferes with my insatiable desire to be skinny this summer.

PLEASSSEEE????????????

HIGH FIVE!!

Thinking about home..

Tonight, I am missing home. I don't think it's home as in the place, but more of the feeling of home. The comfort of being near people that I love is what I am missing.

When I moved to New York, I quickly found a niche of people (mostly North Carolinians) that became my group of friends. In the 2+ years I've been here, every single one of those individuals has moved away. It's scary to be alone in this city and it hurts to think about how far away every one I love really is.

When I think about missing home, I think about the home I knew about two and a half years ago. I had family, I had friends, and they were all right there. Though I didn't see each and every one of them all the time, the fact that they were there was a comfort. I have no comfort of home here.

Sometimes I think back on my reasonings for moving here. What was I really looking for? The obvious answer is that I came to work, to make a career for myself, but as that is now, I'm not really finding myself on a path to a career. Did I move for independence? Possibly, and I have certainly found that here, but I was pretty independent before as well. A lot of people think I moved to run away from my problems. I guess in a way, that is true too. Moving here helped me to overcome an extreme emotional low point in my life.

When people ask me why I moved away, I don't really have an answer for them. I just shrug my shoulders and say, "I just did." Most of the time, I am happy with my decision to move away from home.

But, on nights like this when I feel alone, I wish for a time when the comforts of home could coincide with my life as it is now. And, I wonder if it will ever happen.

Halloween 2010

Halloween 2010

(L to R: Vampire, Pirate, Cowboy, Badminton Champ 1 and 2, Funky Disco Queen, Rainbow Brite, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)

Bottom line is that couples that are truly right for each other wade
through the same crap as everybody else. But the big difference is they don’t
let it take them down.

– Scrubs

Last night, I had a crazy dream. Craig was "The Bachelor" and I was one of the women competing for his affection. It was down to the final 3 and though I thought I was clearly in the lead, I was getting upset because I didn't like the situation I was in and the other girls were incredibly mean. To make matters worse, I couldn't open my eyes fully because it was so bright everywhere. I woke up to the sun shining directly in my face, hardly being able to open my eyes. It's always odd when you have to take a few minutes and piece together what is real and what is imaginary.

Strange morning.

I've had a hard time finding inspiration to write these days. Sorry for the lack of posts, unborn fawns.

Tonight, I painted my nails a bright red. Instead of cutting them down to a short, blunt edge, I left them long because of this shot of Betty from the season finale of Mad Men. Glamour, straight up glamour.

Now, if I could just get my hair to curl like that.

I'm really loving it.

Just released: First look at the H&M and Lanvin collaboration. I can't wait to see the entire collection. Hits stores November 20th. Gorgeous!

Corrinne May - Everything In Its Time

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all

I just fall on my knees and try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'Cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

Everything in its time
Everything in its time

The Daily Lust

This just looks divine

Anthropologie Winter's Warmth Neck Wrap, $98.00

This:

Weekend in Review

I was sick all week so I was so excited to FINALLY get to the weekend so I could just rest. Staying in meant homemade dinners and Craig wanted New York City pizza. So, we had a make your own pizza night!

Master Dough-er (**Can we all please note the lazy-man beard Craig's got going on here?)

Not so master

New York City kitchens are not exactly "well-equipped" for storage, hence the use of a painters canvas for pizza making. Use your resources.

It actually turned out really great! (even without the correct "equipment")

After, we watched some TV with some hot apple cider (Craig bought me some mini pumpkins for fall decorations) :)

After dinner and Cider, we headed off to the movies for some RomCom action - as you saw below.

Saturday was spent resting in bed and napping after a quick visit to a little old lady's doctor's office. (another story for another day)

I'm not 100% better but I'm certainly a lot closer than I was - the restful weekend was exactly what I needed!

On Friday night, Craig and I went to see "Life As We Know It"

Cute movie, but the only thing I could think about was "I WANT THAT HOUSE!"

Hey, at least I wasn't saying "I want that baby!"

The Daily Lust

Please?????????!?

If you've never done this to a baby, you're a liar! ;)

The most creative ad I've ever seen- - - -

http://www.youtube.com/user/tippexperience

The Daily Lust

Is it weird that I want this?

M Missoni Steel Knit Cat Sweater $565.00

Of course, I would want a $600 sweater.

When people hear I live in New York City, one of the first questions I get is "Do you miss the quiet?"

Tonight, I am enjoying the quiet of this city. The soft hum of tires on a wet road, the faint breeze passing across the air conditioner, and the patches of lights illuminating my bed from apartments far away. There is quiet here. It comes from being still. Tonight, I am still. The city carries on around me but all I hear is a soft whisper of life.

I am still.

What's for lunch?

Homemade, chunky vegetable soup. Divine.

“…what defines a New Yorker is the edge that one develops from having actually
lived here. Once you have it, it doesn’t go away and everywhere else in the
world feels like it is in slow motion.”

— Donald Trump Jr.

Am I a New Yorker? Eh, probably not yet.

Stuff my boyfriend says..

"In North Carolina, they have an entire restaurant that just sells biscuits."

Oh Gap designers, you take a beautiful colored tunic and slapped a vagina right in the middle of it. What were you thinking?

This clitorial clothing could be yours for a mere $29.99

Things I love right now:

I trust you, Babe.

Have you ever heard a song that made you stop in your tracks because it spoke so directly to you? It took every facet of your life and simplified it into so many words, that you couldn't believe it? It happened to me today.

Sara Bareilles - The Light

In the morning it comes, heaven sent a hurricane
Not a trace of the sun but I don't even run from rain
Beating out of my chest, heart is holding on to you
From the moment I knew
From the moment I knew

You're the air in my breath filling up my love soaked lungs
Such a beautiful mess intertwined and overrun
Nothing better than this, No, and then the storm can come
You feel just like the sun
Just like the sun

And if you say it'll be alright
I'm gonna trust you, babe
I'm gonna look in your eyes
And if you say it'll be alright
I'll follow you into the light

Never mind what I knew, nothing seems to matter now
Ooh, who I was without you, I can do without
No one knows where it ends, how it may come tumbling down
But I'm here with you now
I'm with you now

And if you say it'll be alright
I'm gonna trust you, babe
I'm gonna look in your eyes
And if you say it'll be alright
I'll follow you into the light

Let the world come rush in
Come down hard; come crush in
All I need is right here beside me
I'm not enough, I swear it
Take my love and wear it over your shoulders

And if you say it'll be alright
I'm gonna trust you, babe
I'm gonna look in your eyes
And if you say it'll be alright
I'll follow you into the light

__________________________________________________________


I listened to it over and over and over again. Letting the words wash over me. I've been in such a strange place lately. Having to continually fight for the relationship I have and define it to other people has caused me to constantly try to define it in my own mind. Will it last? Is it true? And sadly, it's made me question so much that I began to not remember what was so wonderful about us to begin with. Maybe these words were exactly what I needed, to start to release the pressure, to live in the moment. It's not easy, but I'm trying. "No one knows where it ends, how it may come tumbling down, but I'm here with you now."

I can't decide if this would be totally awesome or totally tacky to have in an actual living space. Right now, I kinda love it.

On Friday night, Craig and I decided to stay in and watch our recent Netflix picks (consisting of a documentary and Mad Men season 1)


We watched The Cove.

If you have not seen this documentary, you need to stop what you're doing right now and go out and get it (or at least put it on your Netflix queue). It's no wonder this documentary won Best Documentary at this past year's Academy Awards. It does everything a good documentary is supposed to do. While watching, you learn something new, you get a tingling feeling in your spine watching people on the verge of getting caught, and your stomach rises to your throat in anger as you realize exactly what is going on.

The Cove is a place in Taiji, Japan where the largest dolphin slaughter in the world takes place. It's hidden by wooded cliffs and heavily protected by Japanese fishermen.

An espionage move, the team is able to plant cameras into never-before-seen areas of the cove and captured exactly what was happening. It's heartbreaking the detail that is seen, from the boats corralling the dolphins in, to the eventual bloody waters of the aftermath. It's gut wrenching.

In fact, Craig and I stared expressionless at each other afterwards until it was finally uttered, "What can we do??"

The Cove Official Trailer:

Just watch it. Please.