Lullaby

This is one of the sweetest things I have ever seen. Melissa and Brent, originally from Raleigh, moved out to San Francisco and have started a family. Melissa blogs on Dear Baby, where she has documented her life as a new mom.

One of the posts, she shares a lullaby her husband wrote for their new child. It's just beautiful.

Check out Melissa's Dear Baby blog here

"Silver in my head and gold in my heart."

Dating Virginia: The Three-Day Rule

Everyone knows that there are "rules" in the dating world. Who determined these rules, I haven't the slightest. But, now that I am very deep in the dating realm, I'm realizing that not only are these rules apparent, but they are followed.

One rule I have never quite understood is the "Three-Day Rule". This rule, of course, implies that you should wait three days to contact someone you went out on a date with. Urban Dictionary describes it as: "A rule used by douchebag guys who think that waiting three days after a date to call means that the girl will want them more, when really it just pisses them off"

(i.e.) I thought he was blowing me off, but he totally three day ruled me. Classic.

Thank you, Urban Dictionary! It is a douchebaggy thing to do. I understand the idea: the guy wants to seem busy and incredibly popular, but it really gives us the opposite impression. You're over there thinking, "Heh, she totally thinks I'm cool and have so much to do. I bet she can't wait to see me again!" and I'm thinking, "This is ridiculous, how many people is he dating?" or "I bet his wife had a baby this weekend."

I went out with "Cab Guy" again on Friday night. Once again, I had a good time. Conversation was great and we were really getting along. Even the woman at the bar catching on fire didn't derail our budding chemistry. (Seriously, I can't make this shit up.)

But, there was one issue. I had two glasses of wine and a beer at the bar - not an unusual amount of alcohol for me - but I left so drunk. In fact, I spent the remainder of the night bulimia-ing into a trashcan next to my bed. It's still a mystery to me, how I could get so sick on so little alcohol, but ah, I digress.

Back to the topic at hand. It's been three days. I can normally tell the difference between "chemistry" and "stupid crush" and I'm most certain that this one was "chemistry". So, why hasn't he called? In my mind, if you mesh well with someone, there's no reason why you should force yourself to wait to talk to them. If you want to talk, you talk! If you want to hang out again, you can throw out a "Hey, are you free Sunday afternoon?" after a Friday night date and it's alright! Am I alone in this? Am I just being a rebellious dater?

Since today is "Day 3" I guess I'll wait and see if I hear from him. I'll keep you posted.

UPDATE: He didn't call. :(

Spring!

Yes, it's mid-January and while it's still very cold, the 40 degree weather feels like a heat wave! And, when Bergdorf Goodman sends me emails about resort collections and summer fashions, I can't help but wish for spring.

With upcoming fashions like this, who wouldn't be excited for warmer weather??

Hopefully my spring wardrobe will be full of new pieces like these:

Bright dresses!

Gorgeous neutrals can be so versatile

And, shoes - I'm in love with wedges, neutrals, and bright bright sandals. REALLY wanting spring now!!

Dating Virginia: I'm Easy?

Okay, so I don't really think I'm "easy". But, I've taken a lot of time in the past week trying to determine exactly how men see me. I've never considered myself to be "sexy". Sure, men have told me that I am, but normally, that's after I've charmed them with my personality. Still, I've never been the sexy one. So, when dates approach me just for the desire of sex, I don't really know how to handle it. This is all coming out of nowhere, right? Let me explain - -

2 dates last week - "The Law" is a 35 year old Tom Hanks look-alike. I'll set the picture for you: he started messaging me online, we exchanged numbers, talked on the phone a few times, and agreed to meet for tea one night. Cafe Lalo in the Upper West Side. Cafe Lalo just happens to be the place where You've Got Mail was filmed. I walked in (5 minutes fashionably late) saw him sitting at the back, he waved me over, greeted me at the table and we had tea.

Nice set-up, huh? He obviously knows and recognizes the Tom Hanks resemblance. Bringing me to Cafe Lalo to meet for the first time after communicating online. He's setting up a story! "I fell in love with my 'Tom Hanks' just like Meg Ryan in 'You've Got Mail'!"

He's an intellectual (owns a law firm) and his personality is one to match. He wasn't completely dull, but I wasn't falling over with laughter either. The date ended with a kiss on the cheek.

The next date that week was with a guy that I can't seem to come up with a nickname for. We met for drinks and really had a connection. We talked a lot, laughed, all in all, it was a really great first date. There was only one problem. Once we determined that we lived in the same neighborhood, we decided to share a cab uptown. During the cab ride, 'ol boy started gettin' fresh with me. Sure, I don't mind a kiss on the first date (if the date is going well), but I was a little shocked at his desire for a full-on makeout sesh in the cab.

For me, I can overlook a slight line overstepping in favor of a connection. To be honest, it was the best date I have been on in a long time. I'm seeing him again tomorrow. Just for naming sake, we've been calling him "Cab Guy".

This week, I met "The Law" again. After the first date jitters wears off, you can really get to know someone on a second date. It normally lasts a lot longer and it sometimes includes dinner. (The first dinner date is imperative to determine compatibility. You're forced to open yourself up to not being as proper as you could be with just tea. Seeing how people interact with their own food - and what type of food they choose eat - really can let you know what type of person you are with) Conversation was fine and we decided to get dessert after. Later, we were playing Scrabble (I was losing horribly) and then suddenly I was being pushed back on a couch. I stiff-armed him and told him that it was too far for me, but the damage had been done.

Men want sex. I get it. But I didn't realize that I give off a vibe of being easy. I won't be seeing "The Law" again.

We'll see how things go with "Cab Guy" tomorrow. But, I do know that I'm going to try and slow things down a bit. I felt a real connection with him and going too fast in the beginning will ruin everything.

How hard can it be to demand that a guy respect me? And, why can't I seem to give off that vibe?

Questions, questions, so many questions. And way too much testosterone.

Tick Tock

I'm terrified.

Sure, on the outside, I appear to have it all together, but inside, I'm crumbling. I'm in my second week back in New York and I still don't have a job. Not even something temporary. It's getting dire, really. I can't afford to stay here much longer.

I don't want to leave... I want to be here. For the first time, I feel like I'm starting to come into my own here, I'm feeling a comfort in the city, and each passing day, it's slipping further away.

My mind is spinning and my heart is aching - I don't know what else to do.

Back in NYC

I'm back in New York. After over two weeks of "vacation" in North Carolina and Florida, I'm back in my "home" (at least, the home I have tried to create for myself in the city)

I spent every ounce of those two weeks surrounded. Family, friends, pets. By the time the second week rolled around, I was begging for time alone; sneaking off to be with my thoughts as often as I could. Ironic, isn't it? How I wish so often to be back in North Carolina immersed in an atmosphere of friendly banter, games, and time with the people I love most; and when I get the opportunity, I crave solitude. I guess I will eventually have to find a happy medium, but I have noticed that as I have grown, I have needed more time alone.

I'm sitting here tonight, curtains open, lounging in my chair with only the lights of New York and the computer screen glaring back at me. I'm hoping to see just a little bit of snow fall before I go to sleep. The sky is a rosy pink, a perfect preamble to the inevitable snowfall. From here, I can see snippets of other's lives in the city. Windows flicker with lights of a television, curtains are drawn for a day finished, office lights burn while sleepy employees continue to work. It's like each tiny window has a story. That's one of the things that makes New York City so exceptional. 9 million of us are squished into 30 square miles of space. We're literally "right on top of each other". Yet, each of us is able to make our own life. To be different in our own ways. Refreshing, isn't it?

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what my 2010 resolutions should be. Of course, I think it is important to keep my 2009 resolutions, because they are vital in maintaining a healthy life mentally and emotionally. But so far, I have been unable to come up with anything that I really want to work on. Of course, I need a job. (ANY job at this point) But, resoluting to have gainful employment seems silly. Shouldn't I always strive for that? Still, I'm going to run out of money before too long - employment is on the top of my list right now.

So, I have no resolutions at the moment. If I come up with something in the coming days, I'll keep you posted. But, for now, I think it's okay to continue the path I have set for myself and focus not on changing so much, but staying the same. Maybe I'm exactly where I am meant to be.

Final Resolution Check

I'm sitting on a 6th floor balcony facing the Gulf as I write this post. Yes, my family decided to take a post-Christmas vacation and we've been spending the week in St. Petersburg, Florida on Capri Isle.

The view from my grandmother's dock - Treasure Island, FL

I've been trying to force myself to not worry my mind with thoughts of joblessness or boys, and to try and relax this week. But, of course, I can never keep my mind still.

Isn't it funny how we think that just because the year changes that we have a clean slate? Like everything we've done and experienced goes away because it's a new year. Part of me wants to believe that's how it can be, but the other part knows the reality. The problems and issues we had on December 31st will still be there on January 1st. 2009 will become 2010 and everything will stay the same. I guess the ability to change is still there, and it's easier for some people to adapt new habits when there's talk about change in the air.

Normally, this would be the time I make my resolutions for the year, but I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow to really put it all out there. There's some thinking I have to do on that.

But, since the end of the year has now arrived, it's time to do the official 2009 resolution check. If you are a regular reader of this blog, you'd remember the original resolution post and the 6-month-check-up. So, here we go - let's see how I did this year.

Family: It has been a very difficult year for my family. My resolution with them was to make sure I was maintaining contact with all of them (including extended family) and to be certain they understood how much they mean to me. Never did I think that losing one of my favorite people would bring that closeness back to the family. The death of my grandfather and my dad's cancer diagnosis has given us an opportunity to know each other in a way I didn't think possible before. I hate the circumstances that forced this, but I'm appreciative to have such an amazing support system in place. I'm extremely fortunate to have such a wonderful family.

Independence: Man, I have certainly become more independent this year! In fact, I moved from an apartment in the East Village to one in Murray Hill by myself! (Yes, I did have a friend help me move my bed, but I did the rest!) It was one of those situations that I would have never had to worry about had I been in North Carolina, but this time, I had to step up and figure it out on my own. I've also spent more time figuring out what I want to do - not what other people would want. It's hard, to consider only myself and not others, but I'm getting better.

Friends: After leaving Ogilvy, I had less time to remain in contact with my friends from home (on gchat), that, I regret. But, moving to a new job and a new apartment, and meeting more people in the city, I'm really starting to form a friend network here. Of course, my friends from home will always hold a special place in my life and I hope they are always there.

In addition, I'm really starting to understand that I have a choice about what people I want in my life and ones that I do not. It seems so elementary, that we get to be selective about who we want to spend our time with - but it really took me a lot of courage to be able to tell people that I just wasn't interested in being their friend. It's probably some of the best things I've done.

Dating: If you read this blog, you know all about my dating life. Of course, I didn't come out of this year with a solid romantic relationship, but I feel like I came out with something a lot better - I have a better understanding of myself and what I need in a partner. I guess this whole dating thing has really been about self-discovery all along. I've met some great people, some creepy people, I've laughed until no sound came out, and I've cried. Best of all, I've made some great friends.

Professional: This is probably the worst part of this "review". After getting laid off in October and being jobless up until this point, I've been very discouraged in the professional realm. Hopefully, this will turn around in the coming weeks.

Selfishness: If you remember, I resoluted to be more selfish this year. To consider myself above others and to really focus on what I wanted out of life. I've made extra effort to say "no" when I don't want to do something and to push for what I want. It's a lifestyle change, yes. But, I think it's for the best. I've also gotten much better about articulating my feelings to people - to be able to say "you upset me" when I usually would keep to myself. "I like you" is another thing I've learned it's okay to say to people (when it's true)

I've come out of a shell this year. And, no matter what happens, 2009 will be the year I lived in New York City, the year my father was diagnosed with (and hopefully beat) cancer, the year I lost my dog, the year my grandfather died. It will be the year where I moved from a crappy apartment in the East Village to a wonderful place uptown. It will have been the year I sat on the beach in December trying to get as tan as this 70 degree weather will allow.

The sun has sunk beautifully into the reflective water and I'll be going to dinner with the family soon. So, while my 2010 resolutions are still coming, I wish you all a very happy new year. May 2010 be your best year yet!

VA Review: NARS Orgasm Collection - Blush

Blush was one of those pieces of makeup I never really put much interest in. In high school, I was all about the eye makeup. In fact, I look at some photos now and wonder why I thought it was okay to go outside with so much eye makeup caked on. The past year, it's been all about the lipstick. But, while walking around Sephora bored one afternoon, a woman asked me if I'd like to have a consultation. I told her I wasn't really interested in doing something long and drawn out, but she looked me over and said, "You should really highlight your cheeks more, you've got such a great face shape."

Strange, I never thought much about my cheeks before - I always tried to highlight with a touch of blush, but nothing too fancy.

That was, until I discovered "Orgasm" by NARS.

I'd seen the collection listed in the Selfglampolitan magazines many times, but I always thought that it was a little too expensive. But, I bit the bullet and bought the blush.

Here's what I know: I love it.

It promises to give you that "just 'gasmed" glow - I don't know how close it makes your face look to post-O, but it's a soft peach with a golden shine. The best thing about it is that you can make it as light or as dark as you want depending on how much you stack on.

So now, it's all about the cheeks for me. Of course, it's better to keep the eyes and lips as neutral as possible. Remember kids, only go crazy on one part at a time!

Here's a picture of me and the pops - tell me what you think!

When reading reviews online, there was a complaint about how this blush didn't come with a brush, but I believe that if you're at the point where you're paying $25.00 for blush, you have professional brushes that you already use.

Overall grade: 9

It's a tad expensive, but blush usually lasts a long time. So, if I use it every day for 6 months, it averages about $0.13 a day. It goes on great, doesn't fade, and I'm sure would look wonderful on many different skin tones. Hopefully this blush will take me straight into summer!

If you're interested in reading more reviews, head on over to the Sephora website and check it out HERE !

Dating Virginia: Just Friends

MealPlan and I are just friends.

It's something I've known for quite some time, but I finally took the initiative to put it out on the table yesterday. It is agreed: we are just friends. There's a part of me that is a little saddened by the confirmation of it, but the other part of me is relieved. I mentioned before that I didn't think that a relationship would form out of our situation. But, I guess I just didn't really consider the fact that the relationship we had was a 'just friends' type.

I knew I didn't want to lose him, since I talk to him every day and I do enjoy that. So, this is best. But, there's still kind of an awkward thing happening. We're starting to get to the point where we're talking about dating other people and such. But, I guess that's part of being a friend; putting my old feelings aside and being the best friend I can be. And, believe it or not, I kind of enjoy being that person for him.

So, there it is. I think we'll be good as friends - and maybe I can date his friends ;)

'Till next time - Merry Christmas!

Dating Virginia: Is that all there is?

Let's catch up. I've done a lot of posts that talk about what I like and don't like about dating, but haven't actually talked a lot about what has been happening.

Since the summer, I've done a lot of dating, but there have been two guys that have remained pretty constant throughout the fall. "Seaman" and "MealPlan".

If you remember back in the summer, I made a post about Seaman talking about our amazing sexual chemistry. But, Seaman and I have ceased communication after I sat next to him while watching a movie and realized that I actually hated him. I'm not exactly sure why I kept talking with him for so long, but I decided that I should never be with someone who embarrasses me in public. (Yeah, he thought it was okay to continually walk around town with his shirt off, sang out loud while listening to an iPod - while walking down the street with me! - and had to stop and pet every single dog we passed)

MealPlan and I, on the other hand, still talk every day, on IM and texting, but he doesn't seem to want to hang out very often. I don't get it. Does he want a pen pal? Normally when I abide by the "he's just not that into you" rules, his constant contact would mean that he's interested, since he keeps on contacting me, yes? But, he's also kind of mean to me. I know he's probably thinking that he's joking with me or whatever, but some of the things he says are actually offensive. Maybe that's his way of saying that he is uninterested in anything more than "friends." But still, I like talking to him.

I can't quite figure out why I want to like him so much, or why I want him to like me so much. I can't imagine at this point that we could actually form a legit relationship out of our "relationship" because we seem to have crossed too far into the "friend zone".

Humph. Am I destined to be attracted to men who treat me badly?

In trying to find a man other than MealPlan, (meaning, one who actually would like to SEE me) I went on a date tonight. I was really pumped about this particular date, I really thought that there could be something with this guy. But, he turned out to be a horribly boring mouth breather with bad teeth.

Is that all there is? Is that all that is out there for me? It's such a let down to constantly go on dates just to be disappointed.

How hard can it be to find a tall, classically handsome man who enjoys brushing his teeth? Apparently, it's impossible.