Thursday, January 29, 2009

My mind is never still -

Sometimes it's quiet in the city - eerily quiet.  It's like the city falls into a meditation, the parts move as usual, just a gentle hum coming from the wind moving through the gridded streets.  On nights like this, I feel like being still as well.  If I could master the skill of meditation, I would love to make a habit of it, but I just can't seem to ever get my mind to be still.  I am always buzzing about something, and my thoughts zip back and forth from one thing to another.  Learning to quiet my thoughts would probably allow me to fully relax.  Goal: learn beginners meditation practices.

This past weekend, I had a wonderful weekend in Washington DC with my friend, Sarah.  It was very convenient to take the bus down to DC - just 35 bucks and 4 hours.  Perfect for a weekend trip.  I really liked DC, which was odd, because when I used to go in high school, I didn't really see Washington as a place where I could actually live - just really a place to visit.  But now, I'm feeling a bit of a pull from DC, maybe I'll consider moving there if New York doesn't live up to my expectations.  Though, it would require quite a few more visits to make an ultimate decision.  I definitely can't rush into another decision to move to another state - if I move away from New York, it will be calculated and planned - and I will be absolutely sure it's what would be best for me before taking any action.  After all, moving isn't easy, and I certainly know that going to a different state doesn't solve your problems...   Hm, if I did move, would I then have to change the name of my blog?  (VA in DC???)  Eh, that's a decision for a way later date.

I have an "interview" tomorrow - I use the word, "interview", lightly, because it's more of a meeting than an interview.  I went to an Elon networking event on Tuesday orchestrated by the career services department of the University.  There, I met a couple of people that may have opportunities for me.  Tomorrow, I'm meeting with a 2006 graduate who works at a recruiting agency.  If something comes from this meeting, I would be able to get out of my current job (which is a bit of a toxic situation on its own).  I'm staying realistic though, and not getting my hopes up in case nothing comes from it - because I know from personal experience that even recruiters can fall through.  I'll keep you posted on how the meeting goes.

While we're on the subject, is it strange that I am worried about having to tell my current bosses that I would no longer be working with them? (This is going along the lines of getting a new job with this recruiter) - - - - 

I know I can answer my own question - I shouldn't feel bad about it - I mean, those women are awful!  I was told in the first week that I would not be given any sort of references by them, so why should I be concerned that they would be upset by me leaving???  I am doing a horrible job with my resolutions.  

I need to have MY best interests at heart - I need to have MY best interests at heart - I need to have MY best interests at heart.

I'm going to have to repeat this to myself over and over until it becomes habit.  

See? My mind is never quiet.  

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