Thursday, July 2, 2009

Dating Virgina: A tangled web

Confession: I am dating online.

Yes, friends. I found another option for meeting men besides going to 80s night downtown. (Since 80s night downtown usually just ends up participating in make-out sessions with strangers under flashing neon lights being serenaded by a cover of "Hey Mickey!" - gosh, that's romantic) And since trying to meet guys that way has come up with a big fat nothing, it was either go to bars alone during happy hour and try to catch the eye of a cute twenty-something in a suit or take a stab at the world of online dating. I picked the lazier of the options.

So, I did some research. Essentially, I wanted a website that was legit (not Craigslist) and free. Not that I wouldn't be willing to spend money on a website meant specifically for dating, but I'm not desperate enough for dates to skip a week of groceries each month. I'm not going to divulge what site(s) I'm currently using, but if you're truly interested in trying it out, I'll be happy to give you my opinions.

After deciding which site I wanted to post my carefully construction version of myself, I spent a long time figuring out what type of person I wanted to be portrayed as. Did I want to be fun and flirty? Sassy? Totally calm and cool? Badass? I decided to go with fun and down-to-earth. We'll see if they come e-knockin' on my door.

So I put myself online. Along with photos and a brief description of my likes, dislikes, goals and values. It didn't take long for messages to start coming in. People liked me! They thought I was pretty! What a novel thought - and a reassuring one, at that! After being told many times that I was worth nothing and no one could ever love me, I found that there are men out there that might want to try... ah, always a good refresher.

Though, with the promise of finding men for "all da single ladies" also comes the crazies. I have gotten some of the strangest messages from men. Here are a few of the good ones:

Hey. I’m Rich. I enjoy all types of movies, mystery and thriller novels. I enjoy lots of music (mainly rock and some pop, also almost all Irish music (classic and new age), some classic rock and old music (Sinatra, Bobby Darin, etc). I am currently a junior in college but in my spare time a writer and am currently writing my own television series. I give great massages, love to cuddle, enjoy playing bored/trivia games and spend time with my family and friends. I can definitely be your Edward Cullen/Jacob Black/Noah Calhoun/Troy Bolton/Jesse Tuck/Landon Carter/Lucas Scott depending on your preference/favorite romantic couple and am looking for my Bella Swan/Allie Hamilton/Gabriella Montez/Winnie Foster/Jamie Sullivan/Peyton Sawyer.

Sorry Rich, but any man that references High School Musical or Twilight in a message is a definite no. Next!


Ahoy! I'm Billy, and frankly I think you're adorable. Your profile, though, lacks a lot of essential information, and that just won't do.
What's your opinion on pirates? What about dorky redheads who dress up like pirates sometimes? What about muppets?
I mean honestly, you really can't know a person until you know what they think of Kermit the Frog.
How's that for an icebreaker message? Too weird?

Yes, Billy, that's too weird.

Hi there.. I seen your profile on here and thought I would say hello. Im sweet and affectionate guy, who would love to find that someone I can be happy with, but aren't we all... So as for me I am a very passionate, sweet and geeky man who has an old fashioned sense of romance and would love to find that woman who I can just be myself with. So if you would like to get to know me some more, feel free to read my profile and write me back. I'd love to hear from you.


Scott, you ruined all of your chances with the 4th word in your message.


hey have you ever read Thief With No Shadow? It's a great book :)

No, can't say that I have, but thanks for the suggestion! Next!


hey there... how u doing.... friendzz..?
LOLZ OMG, can i haz friendshipz? No.


All I can say about you right now is... you have a cute smile, but you also look like a girl that could kick a guy in the nuts!

Well, thanks for turning me into a badass. I appreciate that!

since you were so honest in your pro, ill b in my mail. I liked what u wrote, it was witty, I liked that your educated, I find u attractive and i think southern accents are sexy, check out my pro and hit me up if you may b interested.
Yes, I b very educated. (it was hard for me to write that sentence.)


As you can see, there are some definite crazies out there, but I have also received messages from men that understand that I also have a brain behind my eyes. For now, I'll keep on weeding out the nutty ones and keep looking for the decent men. I'll keep you posted!

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