Friday, July 17, 2009

Dating Virginia: It's all about the number

Dating online is essentially man-shopping. I can only equate it to what it would be like to pick a sperm donor. Not that I've ever done it, but I imagine it to be something like: here's a book of eligible men and their stats. Pick the one who has the best qualities for you!

Online dating is the same way. You wade through pages and pages of men from the comfort of your could-fit-another-person bed and pick and choose the ones that you think are cute, smart, or funny. Because the website I'm using likes to rub your ego, it allows you to see everyone that has viewed you. In the same vein, you are seen by all the men after you view their profiles. So here's my technique: I spend about an hour or so each day clicking on random profiles, reading through and making mental notes about each guy. I then wait for me to pop up under their "viewed me" section. If they like me, they message me. It's the perfect combination of stealthiness and laziness. And, it saves me from the self-esteem attack that happens when you send a witty message to an eligible bachelor and get no response (ouch). This way is much better, I love it.

So, it's probably too passive of a technique to really get the "man of my dreams" (though the man of my dreams changes way too much, so there's probably not someone out there that totally "fits") But, it has worked decently so far.

So, they send messages, I check them out again to determine if I'd like to chat, and we start a conversation. A lot of times, these small chatting sessions end after a few messages, but there are a few that have matured into a full-blown volley. Then comes the next step: the phone number.

Because my phone number had to be changed after many deranged phone conversations with a former acquaintance, I have been very careful about giving out my number. But, once I become comfortable enough with someone from chatting online, I normally give out my number (only if it's asked for. Come on, now, I'm a lady!)

So, here's the thing. We chat online, we're trying to do the preliminary "get-to-know-you" stage, then the number comes out and.... nothing. What the hell? I give you my number (because you said it would be easier to communicate that way) and then you don't call?? If the phone number is such an intimidating thing, why do men ask for it to begin with?

Though I have never read the book or seen the movie, I'm a firm believer in the "He's Just Not That Into You" principle. If the guy is into you, you'll know it. He'll try. And he'll be persistent. If not, he just isn't into you! It's simple. But still, it's hard to accept that quiet cell phone.

Oh, and if any of you are wondering about my last date. Well, silent-phone. It speaks louder than words.

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